Needing some help writing my Christmas letter...........

I need some help with my Christmas letter!

Honestly, it has been quite a challenge to write a Christmas letter this year. As I have thought through all that we have received, endured, survived, and enjoyed.....the only conclusion that we can share this Christmas season, is that we have MUCH to be thankful for! It's not easy to write about though.

God is teaching us, molding us, pruning us, and blessing us! In the midst of tumultuous circumstances, he gives us the 5 most precious grandchildren ever! When we want to succumb to the challenges before us, we take a breather, and spend a night in Myrtle Beach, enjoying the ocean, searching for sharks teeth, & walking along the beach. 

We spent the July 4th weekend at a friend's mountain home with our kids and grandkids.  It was such a great time!  We don't take it for granted! 

When it seems that work is just too hard, we receive the most loving encouragement from our “kids”! Whether they bring us supper, drive three hours to visit us and bring our grandkids down for hugs, or help us at work----we are so blessed!  Or, a friend from the past comes to South Carolina and drives 2 hours to Columbia JUST to have dinner with us.  What a love gift God gave us in that special evening! 

 

When I am writing my Christmas letter, I want to be encouraging, and I want to share all of the wonderful, exciting, beautiful things that show God's Glory in our lives.  This year, most of what immediately comes to mind about this year falls short of that.  Of course, we have learned much.  My last post about "definitions" truly expressed my "aha" moment of the year.  Wow....giving God my definitions!!??  This is BIG!  I have not fully mastered this yet, by the way. 

 

So, as Thanksgiving draws closer and closer, and I usually have my Christmas letter written by now, I am taking a few moments tonight to pray.  God, how can I declare YOUR Glory in my Christmas letter this year when I feel so overwhelmed with life?  How can you "shine", when I don't feel like I'm a vessel fit for such a purpose?  Is this a year to skip the Christmas letter, or does God have something that He'd like us to share....even about this most difficult year, that would point others to Jesus, our reason for the season?!

 

This week, our son Mark has had a "health crisis".  He ended up in the hospital, and he could have had a stroke!  Whoa!  He's only 33 years old.  God uses these situations to remind us that life is short, we must love each other, take care of ourselves, and keep our hearts right with God!  We never know when such a crisis will occur!  Thankfully, he had great doctors and they were thorough.  He will need to make some lifestyle changes and take a couple of medications.  The blessing is, that he will be fine!  God heard our prayers for Mark, and we are thankful!

 

The last 6 weeks of the year should be filled with "wonder", laughter, joy, anticipation, baking, family, etc............and though it most likely will contain some of the above, I'm tired.  I dislike decorating for Christmas by myself.  My dear husband has his plate full----I hate to ask anything else from him!  Though I have always loved baking, it was much more fun when the kids lived at home.  I have barely taken time to "Swiffer", and now I need to decorate and rearrange the house only to take it all back down a few weeks later?   

 

I need a good "pep talk"!  I may also need  help or permission to decorate less, or bake less.

Tonight, as I should probably get started on a Christmas project I have planned for the grandkids.............making them sock puppets...........I find myself in my "jammies", warmly cuddled up in bed with my computer.  I guess I am just relieved that Mark is ok, that he is now home, and well.  ( I just took him home from the hospital this afternoon)

 

For tonight, I'm just going to ask God for our Christmas letter.............after all, the season is all about Him!

 

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Pam

 

Definitions..............

Definitions..............

There's the dictionary definition, and there are also words, and concepts that we have our OWN definitions for.
How I define love, or protection, or provision, or safety or security............may not be the same as how you define those words.
This week, I had a "letting go" of my definition of certain words and it has been freeing, and yet adds more unknown.
I know, I'm not really making sense.

Let's take the word: provision....provide.
I have wrestled with God on this word, because I have MY definition of what God's provision, or how God should provide "looks like".  If the measure of God's provision in my life, circumstances, etc. hasn't met what I determined needs to be provided for.........it has been a source of "defeat" for me.

Just what the "enemy" wants!  He would want nothing better than for me to be defeated my relationship with God. 
No more! 

So, instead, every time I catch myself  thinking God's love and care for me is measured by how I define love, provision, security, or safety.............I will stop myself. 

OH, how I love the verse in 2 Corinthians 5:7 that reminds me that we walk by faith and not by sight.  We need to live  knowing and believing the truths in God's Word, and not let our feelings hinder what we know to be true.

If you have written your own "dictionary"----put it away. 
God loves you. 
Remember what the first chapter of James says....the trials are to test our faith and produce perseverance. 
They are to make us mature and complete, lacking nothing, AND if we persevere under trial, we will receive the crown of life, reserved for those to love Him.

THAT is worth enduring for....struggling for....believing, hoping, trusting, and having faith for!
God is writing the story of my life, and I will daily give up my definitions, and know that I see in part, but God has the full picture!

Have a blessed holiday weekend!

We just have to trust that God loves us and knows what's Best!

I know it's been quite a while since my last post.  Life....it just takes a lot out of you sometimes!
    
     Yesterday, my daughter was telling me that one of my grandson's went to his first t-ball practice.  He has watched his older brother play ball for two years.  He has gone to most every game.  He knows what happens, and what to do.  He knows that his parents aren't going to leave, and that it will be fun.  He's watched, and wanted to play...........until his very own first game.

    This little boy is smart as all get out!  But he's also cautious, and analyzes things, and doesn't just join in.  Sometimes he has to be coaxed, and sometimes.....forced.  He's a little timid, especially in group things, where one of his parent's can't just stand beside him the whole time.  This happened at t-ball.  The little guy who doesn't want to draw attention to himself, made a scene, had a tantrum,and threw his parents for a loop!

    He wanted his parents to stand in the ball field with him, because he didn't want to do it alone.  It was a water-works display.  His parents held their ground.  They know that part of parenting is training the kids to do things without them.  Honestly, it's probably harder for the parents (at least, the mom) than the kids-----this separation, detaching, pushing the baby birds out of the nest!  But it must be done.

     It will most likely take this little guy a few times before he allows himself to have fun, and gives it his best shot.  Crazy deal is that he is really going to be an athlete.  He's coordinated, and loves sports, and runs fast, and can "figure it out".  He just has to trust, and submit to his parents, and the coach.  He has to believe he will be ok when his parents aren't right next to him.....they are just a few more feet away, watching his every move.  They'd be there in a flash if something happened, but they know this will be good for him.

     I think I am like this little guy with the scarey things in life.  I have watched God work in the lives of others, and even in my own life.  I have seen miracles.....cancers cured, babies born, jobs found or saved, money come in the nick of time.....prayers answered.  I have read the Bible, memorized many of the promises, and had others pray for me.  I have felt the shelter of God's love wrapped around me when I have grieved a loss.  I'm a fairly strong woman.  I can "get it done".  But sometimes, I let fear grab ahold of me and paralyze me.  I get into a stubborn mood and tell God "I can't"!  God replies,
Matthew 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

I tell God that it's too hard, and I don't want to!  He reminds me---
2 Corinthians 12:9a
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

I resist, and at times, I refuse His blessings because I'm afraid, or I just want Him to hold my hand, and He gently nudges me "out of the nest"..........BUT He never takes His eyes off of me.  He knows that I am equipped to do what He's asked me to do.  He prepared me.  He lets me get a skinned knee, and sometimes a ball hits me in the arm, or the side.  Sometimes, when I'm up to bat, I strike out.  Sometimes, I don't catch the fly ball thrown out into the field.  That's how I learn.  I make mistakes.  Sometimes my weaknesses show.  (Oh my!)  Sometimes, I really screw up and it affects the "team".

If everything came easy, if I had lots of self-confidence, and believed it was all ME.............I wouldn't seek HIM!  What wonderful lessons we can learn just from being nudged out of the nest a bit, and having to play t-ball!  My grandson is just a little guy, so he won't understand all of the important lessons he will learn from playing on a team, or just being required, or "forced" to give this game a chance.  His parents wouldn't ask him to do something they didn't think would be good for him!  They love him! 

God, who knows the whole story from beginning to end.  He has many lessons for us to learn, blessings to shower on us, struggles we need to trudge through, and gems for us to find.  We will get bumps and bruises, cuts and scrapes, and even sometimes-----feel alone, on this journey called life.  But this life is not all about us!  There is so much more than we can see that is happening every day, all around us!  The greatest blessing in all of life is to be used by God to bring others to Him.  Each struggle, trial, and victory is to prepare and equip us for His purposes. 

Time to pray:
This week, as I anticipate a challenging one...........Lord, keep your eye on me!  As you allow the tough things in life to strengthen me, and equip me, let me see you!  When I tell you it's too hard, or I'm scared, or I can't......remind me that nothing is too difficult for YOU!  You are with me!  You will pick me up when I fall, and I am never alone.  When I just don't want to play the game, when I'm tired, and worn, and ready to just watch.........remind me that there is a purpose in all of this, and you have a plan to give me a future and a hope.  (Jeremiah 29:11)
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Focusing on Jesus...........

There is a verse in the Bible that tells us to "fix" our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) When something is "fixed", it is "set".  It does not look to the right or the left.  It has focus.
That is what I am trying to do right now.
I am succeeding part of the time, and failing miserably at other times.

I am also remembering Matthew 11:28 "Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest". 
I'm claiming it. 
I'm looking to Jesus for my safety, my protection, my rest. 

Are you burdened?
Are your trials heavy and you feel you can't see beyond them?
God sees!  God hears the cries of your heart!

He tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:9 that now we see in part, our knowledge is incomplete.  Someday, we will see in full!  Someday, we will know the "whys" and we will see how it all fits together.

God has been reminding me of these verses because I too easily "forget"!!
He wants me to trust in His Word, and not live my what I feel!  Feelings are not necessarily truth.
God can be trusted.  He loves us and knows us by name! 
This world is not our eternal home! 
He has overcome the "world".  There is VICTORY in Jesus!
The sun will shine tomorrow.
But the rain................oh the rain..........is God's provision!  His hand to provide:  all life needs water.  He provides!

Rest, my dear friend, rest in knowing that when we fix our eyes on Jesus, and take it all, laying it at the feet of our Savior, we can trust Him.
We can trust Him!
Sleep well, sleep well!
Love,
Pam

"Colgate or Crest"?

Today's topic is on how to stretch your grocery budget.
Recently, I have been a part of a small group of ladies that are trying to control portion sizes to lose weight.  I have battled the same 10 pounds for a few years now, and since I am now over 55, something has got to change!  Thus, I am a part of that small group.
Often I hear people say that it is expensive to eat healthy. 
Groceries are getting more expensive, that's true.  Also, shows like Extreme Couponing, have made it more difficult for consumers to get good deals, because they have been "extreme"!
Here are some practical tips that ANYONE and everyone can use.  Some, you will have heard, and already use.
1.  Don't be an impulse shopper.  It causes money waste.  When you wastefully spend "over here", you won't have money for things you need "over there".
2.  You don't have to shop at 15 stores to get good deals, but make the most of wherever you go!  For example:  My church is close to Trader Joes, and Sam's Club.  I keep a running list....and if there is sufficient reason to go, we make those stops after church.
3.  Don't assume generic is the cheapest!  Also, don't assume Walmart is the cheapest.  I do a good portion of my shopping at Publix.  Our new ad comes out on Wednesdays.  I try to look online at their ad and see what is buy one get one free.  If I need those items, I look to see if there are also coupons I could match up with that.  For example:  this week, Angel Soft toilet tissue is buy one get one free.  That is an amazing deal!  I seldom see tissue for that good of a price.  I would be foolish to just get one.  I will stock up as much as my budget will allow.  This will save me money in the long run because I won't have to purchase it for a while.  The more you do this, the more money it will "free up" in the long run, and you can make the products last until the next cycle of sales (which is about 3 months).
4.  I set goals for myself.  My main goal is to NEVER, EVER pay full price!  Another goal I have is to have my overall result to be a savings of 50% or more on my receipt.  This can be accomplished through items being on sale, buy one get one free, items that have coupons:  both store and manufacturer, etc. 
5.  I'm not brand loyal.  Hence the title of this post:  Colgate or Crest!  If I have a coupon for Colgate that will give me a free toothpaste or almost free toothbrush...that is what I will use.  My husband likes Colgate best, and that is good because mostly, the coupons are for Colgate.  If a coupon will give me the smallest size free, that is what I get because then I can use the savings for fresh fruits and vegetables.
6.  Buy what is in season!  Right now, there are farmer's markets everywhere!  I see people selling produce on the side of the road!  Know you prices, and cash in on the savings!  That said, keep some CASH in your pocket!  Roadside stands won't take credit or debit most of the time.  I usually spend about $20 at a time when I hit a farmer's market.  Often I will have 5 or 6 plastic bags with produce!  I buy a basket of tomatoes for $3.00, a cabbage for $1.00, cucumbers are often 3-5 for $1.00, sometimes I can get fresh farm eggs for as little as $2.50/doz., etc.  Take advantage of your local farmer's market. 
7.  Don't wait until you run out to get items you use all of the time.  I know you must make this fit within your budget, but you MUST buy when items are on sale, NOT wait until you run out.  The toilet paper I told you about in #3 is a perfect example.  Also, I love Vanity Fair napkins.  I ONLY buy them when they are buy one get one free and I also have a manufacturer's coupon.  Thus, I don't get to buy them very often.  When I do, I get as many as my coupons and budget allow.  Same with Bounty napkins.  I like them too!
8.  Be willing to try making some of your own products with recipes from Pinterest.  Recently, I tried making liquid hand soap with a recipe from Pinterest.  The recipe I chose was the easiest one!  I took a brand of bar soap that had some glycerin in it, and I grated it with my grater.  (the whole bar) Then, I took a gallon of water and put it in my largest pot and set the burner on medium high.  I added the soap shavings and kept stirring until it was all melted and bubbly.  I turned off the burner and stirred every once in a while as it cooled.  Then I took my hand held emersion blender and whipped it a bit.  I poured the cooled mixture in hand soap bottles, water bottles and whatever else I had to use, as it makes a gallon +.  I had a whole gallon of hand soap!!  Every 8-10 oz bottle can cost $1-$3, so that saves me at least $13.  (I got the bar soap with coupons and paid about .25cents for it!)
9.  The more you save on non food items, the more you have to spend on the healthy foods you want.  Homemade granola is a great option for your family!  Right now, Quaker Oats is buy one get one free at Publix!  Pick up some nuts or seeds at Trader Joes, or wherever you see a good price.  Get some raisins, and you will need some oil and honey.  I buy local honey at the farmer's market.  Recipes abound on Pinterest.  It doesn't take very much time to make your granola homemade.  It is delicious, you know what is in it, and it is healthier than store bought.  Plus, ounce for ounce....it is less expensive.
10.  Distinguish need from want.  Examine your last few grocery store receipts.  If you really want to spend more on fresh fruits and vegetables, where can you "trim" your expenses so that you can do that?  Did you pick up a magazine or two at the check out?  Did you buy that bag of chips that was calling your name....and not on sale?  Did you just grab a jug of Tide, when another brand was buy one get one free?  Take a look.  Plan before you shop.  I know it takes a bit of time.  But hey, you work hard for your money.  Shouldn't you want to make it go as far as you can? 

I hope these tips will help you be able to get the most from your shopping trips.  My youngest daughter has become quite good at saving money, and yet stocking up on things she needs and uses most.  She can stretch a dollar about as far as it can go!  Here is the link to her money saving, frugal living blog.  www.frugalfitmomma.com

My other daughter has discovered the love of cooking and trying to keep her dinner meal at 500 calories, while pleasing her children's tastes, and her son's extreme food allergies.  She is also an amazing photographer.  Her food blog address is: www.dancinandcookininthekitchen.com

I'm a mom, so I can "promote" my girls, can't I???  :-)
Have a blessed day!  I hope you have read something here that will inspire you and help your family eat healthier, and stretch a dollar farther!  Perhaps you can even start a vacation "jar"!!  Maybe money saving vacations will be my next post....?????!!!
That's all for now,
Pam

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

 

 

It's been over a month since my last post.

I've been busy, and streeeetttttcccchhheeeedddd!  :-)

But a topic came to the forefront today when there were some movies on tv about young girls and boys with anorexia.

The need to control, to be thin, to be the thinnest, to think that our worth comes from what we weigh.

That we are disgusting and valueless unless we are super thin.

 

From the time I was a young teen until now, I have battled within myself the question:  Where do I get my value?  What determines my worth?

Most teenage girls. and many young guys struggle with food issues in one form or another, and I was not immune. 

 

Now, as a 55 year old woman, whose body is changing, and I am getting thicker in the middle, and clothes don't fit as they used to.....I have to shout God's truths in order to fight what the "world" says is valuable, and beautiful and lovely.

 

How ridiculous!  Are we not more than flesh and blood?  Do we not know that no flesh and blood will enter the kingdom of heaven?  This body is ours to use while we are on earth, but focusing every bit of energy on what the body looks like keeps us from our purpose.  It focuses on self, SELF!!!

 

Instead:

Hebrews 12:1-2

New International Version (NIV)

12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

 

 

What our focus, our attention, our discipline is best spent on, is Jesus!

He is God's son, who bore our sin on his body....one  beaten, scourged, and battered, so we can spend eternity with Him. 

Wow!  Nothing we can do can earn that.  We can't starve our way to acceptance.  He doesn't love us more if we fit the world's standards of: thin, tan, flawless......HE is the only sinless, flawless one.

Luke 9:23

New Living Translation (NLT)

²³ Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.

(Someday soon, I will write a whole post on Luke 9:23.)

Join me.  Let's take our eyes off of what the WORLD says our focus should be on:  status, looks, weight, body image, possessions, etc.....anything that "hinders", and let's look to the ONE who loves us as we are.  Let's point someone who doesn't know Him to the one true hope.
What would happen if we spent as much time in God's Word as we do exercising, and focusing on outward beauty?
What would that say to our families?  What do they think is our priority?  What do they see us doing, saying, where is our focus?

Take care of your body, don't hurt it.  God made you, and He loves you, and you are using this body while you are here.  Let your light shine for the WORLD to see!

Love,
Pam

 

Being all things to all people............

Is it even remotely possible to be all things to all people?
By my actions, you'd think so. For some reason, I seem to think that it is possible to be all things to all people.  The truth is, that the answer is no.  If it were, I would definitely do my best to make that happen.
You cannot please all of the people all of the time.
Some people you can never please, and some people you shouldn't be your priority to please, and others, you can do your best, but there will always be something "more" that needs to be done, to please them.
How do you decide who to please, when?

It's not easy....my head spins so often.  Honestly, I consistently ignore the truth, and run around like a crazy person, as though my very worth depends on meeting everyone's needs.

So, what should your priority be?  Let's start with the one who made you, and the one who loves and understands you most.  God!  He loves, loves, loves you!  He says that we need to come to him, when we are weary and heavy laden and he will give us rest!  We are to take HIS yoke upon us because HIS burdens are light.  He knows what we need, and He wants to meet OUR needs.  He died for you, has a purpose for your life, and will be with you through thick and thin.  I'd say that is a pretty good reason to please God first and foremost!
How can we do this best?  By loving the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength, and your neighbor as yourself. 

You don't please God by the clothes you wear, your "style", your material possessions, whether you keep your cool in stressful situations, etc.  You love Him, thank Him, serve him, praise him!  The priorities need to be:  God first, husband (spouse) second, family third.....others, after that.

It's impossible to please everyone, all of the time.
It sets you up for failure and discouragement.  It can ruin your day.
Seek HIM first, and everything else "will be added to you".  It isn't easy, but it can be done!

Happy weekend!
Pam

It is better to not marry, than to marry the wrong one!

I always knew I wanted to be married!
I started writing my "list" of important qualities for a husband when I was in junior high!
First on the list:  I wanted him to have a personal relationship with Jesus.  I wanted him to know his Savior, and I wanted us to be on the same page spiritually.
It was also important that he love his family, and treat his parents with respect.  If he could treat them respect, that was a good indication that he would also be willing to treat me with respect.
Also important on the list:  my parents must approve.
Some people don't agree with this one, but think about it........if family is important to you, then you will be spending time with them, and all will be happier if your family likes your spouse.  My parents also LOVE me, and want the best for me.  They might see something I don't see.  Who would want me to choose the right one more than my parents?
The man of my dreams would also need to love children!  He would want to take an active role in parenting, and we would be on the "same page" as far as children and family are concerned.
Important on my personal list is that I wanted to have opportunities to serve God in mission work, and I wanted a husband with a heart for our community, our country, and the world.
Ok....I also had "handsome" on my list!
I love traveling, so I also put "loves to travel" on my list of requirements for a husband.
I didn't want to marry someone that did "his thing" while I did "my thing".  I wanted to get married to have a relationship with my husband, and for us to enjoy spending time together, so it would be important to me that my spouse that would have those same things as his priority.
Next on this list would be money, work, and all things like that:  I wanted a man with ambition, drive, and dreams.  Not that I want to be "rich" materially, but my dad was very hardworking and ambitious, and those are qualities that were top of my list!  I did want basic needs met, and a husband who believed God put HIM as head of the household, and he would want to lead!

As with most little girls, I dreamed of my wedding.  What kind of gown I wanted, what flowers I would want, the color of the dresses, etc. 
It would be special, with all of my family and friends there!

Then.....when I was a teenager, I didn't really do much dating.  When I did, the few guys that I did date, did NOT meet any of the requirements on my list.  So as I started college, my focus was going to be on getting good grades, not worrying about dating.  There would be time for that after college.

Then, I met Dave.  He was best friends with a guy that was often hanging out with the girls in my dorm.  Within just a few months of dating, I knew that he was the ONE for me!  He met ALL of the requirements on my list, AND MORE!  We were engaged on my 20th birthday, and married 7 months later.  That was 34 1/2 years ago.
Have the roads all been smooth?  NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Has life been easy?  Absolutely not!!!!
Did I marry the RIGHT guy?  A resounding YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I see so many young girls who "settle". 
They long to be loved by someone....ANYONE!
They give away their purity to the first boy who makes them "feel" pretty and special, and then that guy breaks their heart and doesn't cherish the gift they gave away, and then, the cycle continues, and you can never erase the hurts and cannot get your purity back.
God does a great job of restoring broken hearts, and giving us second chances.....but the first time can only be given once. 

When God created marriage, love, and sex, he designed it to be within marriage.
Do you think he did that to punish us, or keep something good "from" us?  NO!!!!
God's design was for you to have the BEST!  He knows that he "did good" when he created all of that physical love stuff, and that once a relationship "goes there", there is no going back, and often it "stops" the learning about each other stuff, and relationships get clouded.
It's all about how I "feel", and how he/she makes me "feel".
Women give their "all" when they give their bodies.  It's emotional, and physical, and even spiritual.  Though men take sex seriously too, God wired them differently.
They can care about someone, but the sex drive is so strong, that they can give their bodies without giving their total hearts commitment.
This can cause so many struggles.

I think it's funny how some young people think you have to "live" with someone before you marry them to see if you are a match.  MY thoughts here are that if you spend time getting to know each other WITHOUT sex, and focus on learning about each other, families, and each other's friends, you learn more than necessary to make an informed decision on a life partner.

Many young girls want a relationship with a guy so badly, thinking they need it to validate their worth.  Does this make sense?  How do you choose who gets to validate your worth?  What if they do make you feel validated for a while, and then the relationship ends?
These girls, too quickly, give their heart, and their body before either the guy nor the girl are ready for this type of relationship.  She expects him to meet all of her love needs, and things end badly.....often with little children who have joined the family, and they must deal with all of the emotional trauma of it all.

Marriage can be TERRIFIC!  Marriage can be a NIGHTMARE----if you marry the wrong one!
If you do it right, and marry the right one, you love, learn, and grow together through all of the trials, challenges, and change of life.

If you marry the wrong one, you've pledged the rest of your life to the WRONG ONE! 
If one or both marriage partners will commit to grow and change and become what is necessary to become to make the marriage good and "right", it can work, but a lot of heartache could have been saved.

No matter who you marry, it will NOT be smooth sailing.  There are two separate people here who have their own ideas, and ways of doing things.  Change, compromise, commitment, growth, and forgiveness are such a big part of making a marriage work.

If being married is something you desire with your whole heart....take this up with God!  Tell Him your desires.  Seek what he has to say about it in His Word.  Then, go to work!  Work?  Yup!!
You need to become the woman of HIS DREAMS! 
While you are waiting for the man of YOUR dreams, you need to work to become the woman of HIS!
If you are focused on wanting God's best for you, and working to become all you want to be as a wife who has a heart for God....the wait won't be so "long", and at just the right time, you will meet the ONE you've been waiting for.

Don't worry, and don't settle.  God's BEST for your life is WORTH waiting for! 
Are you ready? 
Here are some suggestions on books to read to help you get ready.....or if you are married, and need to "go back" and have a "do-over"....these are just a sampling of great books out there on preparing for marriage, and making it work.

"Becoming the Woman of His Dreams" by Sharon Jaynes
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"For Better or Best" by Gary Smalley
"Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot
"How to Listen to God" by Charles Stanley

and many many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm praying for you!  I really am, RIGHT NOW!
May your heart be saved for the one God has for you.
May you want HIS BEST in a mate.
May your commitment to your mate be lifelong, and may you be blessed beyond anything you could ask or imagine!
God loves you, and wants to give you the desires of your heart!
Pam

A special mom remembered, a legacy pondered.......

Today I went to a funeral.   Such a sad time for the family, who will miss this precious mom so much!  The blessing in it all, is that she lived a wonderful, full, loving, giving, passionate, purposeful life!
Each of her three daughters wrote a tribute, and the husband of the oldest daughter read them.  This mom was so loved and cherished.
The memories that the daughters held dear were ones where the mom gave of herself---taught a valuable life lesson, or just lived her life as an example before her daughters, and that made an impression on her girls that impacted their entire lives.
One daughter spoke of how she wanted a marriage like her mom and dad's.  She said that her mom taught her about following her husband, and being his partner no matter where that lead.  She spoke of how her mom taught her to fry some onions if he came home from work, and she had no idea what to make for dinner....the smell would make him believe something delicious was soon to be ready!  She was loving, creative, and purposeful.

This precious woman loved the Lord, and made sure that each of her children had every opportunity to develop a personal relationship with Jesus.  Her kids saw a mom who lived what she believed.  It was important to her that God's plan of salvation was shared at her funeral......

Funerals often cause me to ask myself:
What will be said of me when I am gone? 
Thankfully, God is not finished with me yet, and he promises to complete what he started in me!

This precious time of tribute to my friend's mom, gave me cause to examine what kind of wife, mom, and grandma I am. 

From the time I was a very young girl, I couldn't wait to be a mommy!  I probably played with dolls longer than many girls my age, and started working in the church nursery as soon as they would let me!  I babysat every chance I could get from the time I was 12.  From a very early age, my dreams and goals were "set".

We got married at age 20.  As much as I loved being married, and loved my husband, I wanted a family with him.  I wanted us to be parents!  Though my parents were surprised and concerned that I got pregnant after only 7 months of marriage......I was thrilled!  I didn't finish nursing school, which was the reason for my parent's concern, but my dreams were realized!  I married the man of my dreams, and had a child of my own!

Not only a precious son, but MY precious son!  He called me "mommy"!  Then, within 3 1/2 years, I had three children.  I couldn't have been happier. 
The road has definitely not been smooth.  Parenting reveals the flaws!  I had a lot of issues with impatience.  I expected my children to care about doing things the way I wanted them to.  My husband worked nights for the first 9 years of our kids lives, and evenings were exhausting and lonely. 

We made sacrifices.....I never held a full-time job away from home when I had kids.  I've been a certified nursing assistant and medication aide.  I have cleaned houses and done ironing.  I sold Crystal with a "party plan".  I watched other people's children.  I worked in a coffee shop.

But my family, and my marriage were the priority commitment. We chose to live with cars that usually had bondo on them somewhere!  We chose simple vacations, and everything fun we did, I called "vacation".  Our kids thought we went on lots of vacations! 

 We decided to do some homeschooling, and some private schooling through the kids growing up years.  I learned more than the kids did. 

When I talk to my kids, who are now adults, we remember many fun times together, times of learning, and the things that I wish I would have handled differently, are not a big deal to them.  Since my daughter's are now mothers, they see life through different eyes. 

A neighbor once told me that as she held her newborn son for the first time, she called her mom in tears and thanked her for loving her.....she said she never realized how much a mother loves her child until that very moment when she was holding her own child in her arms.

How true those words are. 
Each day is a gift....it isn't promised.
Each relationship God gives you opportunity to have, has a purpose....pour the best you have to give into those relationships.  Memories will be made.
Don't be afraid to apologize and ask forgiveness.  It keeps you humble, and as Beth Moore says, "If you don't humble yourself, God will have to do it for you!".
Each day you live is a chance for a "do-over"! 
And we can be thankful in this.
Pam

"To drink or not to drink....that is the question!"

I grew up in a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska.  When we started going to church, it was at a fairly conservative Baptist Church. 
Though we weren't always told the "why's", and I certainly didn't understand all of the rules set, one thing I did truly grasp, and have embraced as an adult is that as a Christian, Christ lives in my heart!
I represent Him with how I live my life.  Do I do it perfectly, or even "well"?  Not always. 

Our youth group was the best thing about my teenage years!  Many a Bible School student did their internship working with our youth group.  They were enthusiastic, and most importantly, they were committed to living a life that was an outward expression of their inner commitment to Christ.

Those youth group leaders taught us that God wants Christians to be DIFFERENT than the "world".  The world is hungry for what Christ has to offer, and they will be watching us as Christians, to see if what we have, has made a difference in our lives.

There is so much "darkness" in the world, but God is LIGHT!  In HIM there is no darkness at all!
(I John 1:5)
Acts 13:47 says that we are to be a light, and bring salvation to the world.  We carry the light of Jesus in our hearts.  We need to "let it shine"!

Ephesians 5:8 (NIV)

^8 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."

It's not about "rules", though God has plenty to say about how a Christian lives their life.  My favorite passage on Christian living is Colossians 3.

How does this relate to the title of this post?
Conversations about whether Christians should drink alcoholic beverages is one that will come with much debate.  The Bible does not say that Christians shouldn't drink.  It says that they shouldn't be drunk. (Ephesians 5:18) It also says that Christians should live their lives in such a way that they are not a stumbling block to a newer Christian, or someone seeking Christ.(1 Corinthians 8:9)

May I say that I offer this blog post as food for thought, not as a condemnation to any Christian who thinks drinking is ok for them.  This is my personal conviction.  How I believe God wants me to approach the topic of drinking.  If my convictions prompt your heart to rethink this issue for yourself, then it is between you and the Lord.

So, after the verses above, and all of the "preface", God tells me to be holy....not perfect, but set apart.  Different than the world.  A light, shining, that points those in darkness to Christ, the source of all light.  How can they find it in me, if I am no different than they are?

As Christians, we have freedom in Christ!  We have freedom to eat meat or not eat meat.  To dance, see movies....or not.  We can go to a church that doesn't use musical instruments in their service, or attend a service that uses a band and Praise team.  We have freedom in this....freedom in our worship.  Women can wear dresses or slacks to church, cover their heads, or let their hair be their covering.  Women can even be pastors, and there are all sorts of freedoms we have in expressing our Christian faith. 

God's WORD is our absolute truth...we must believe and live with his WORD as our guide.  That is a non-negotiable.

Drinking alcohol.....we have freedom in this as well...........within limits.
What if we choose to drink around a believer who has had a problem with alcohol in their past, or even their present.  Is it letting Christ's light shine if we drink around them?  Or, is it being a stumbling block?   We need to make wise decisions, taking others into consideration. 

For me, being "set apart", means that I do not choose to drink alcohol.  Have I ever used 1/2 cup of wine in a recipe?  A few times, I have.  Would I be careful who I made that recipe for, absolutely. 

My kids are watching.  Do I live my convictions?
My grandchildren are watching.  Do I live a life that points them to Christ? 
I don't want  them to think being a Christian is easy.  I want them to have convictions and live by them. 

This is a difficult subject to cover.  I want to make certain to state that I am not condemning those who respectfully, carefully, moderately drink alcohol.
I won't make others' choices for them.

For those who are questioning, and in the process of making this decision for themselves, this is how the decision came about for me.

Live what you believe.  Stand firm in your convictions.

Have a great week!
Pam





 

My God is SO Big!

You know what?  It's been a rough week!  Did you notice it's only Wednesday?!!
Some weeks are like that.  I will "liken" it to labor pains.........the "contractions" are getting closer together, there are many more of them, and the pain is more intense.  Bummer is, don't think there will be a baby at the end of this rough patch.
Just when we think the challenges can't get more difficult, they do.  I didn't think this would happen.....Crazy!

Then, what happens?  I go to Awanas with my precious little granddaughter, and we sing (like we do every week)---"My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty; there's NOTHING my God cannot do!"

God is BIGGER than these challenges.  God doesn't want us to be afraid--- our Bible verse this week was Psalm 56:11 "In God I trust and am not afraid.  What can man do to me?"
So, do I believe what God says?  When the challenges pour down, do I hide in the shelter of His wing and trust that he's got my best in mind? 
I will CHOOSE to believe.  I will NOT go by how I feel, or even what I "see", I will CHOOSE to believe God's Word. 

The song goes on to say, "The mountains are His, the valleys are his, the stars are His handiwork too..."  So, if things are all uphill, and the road is rocky.....HE owns it, and will be with me whether I am climbing the mountain, or standing on top.  If the valley is low, and it seems dark....He made the valley too, and will be with me!  He sets the stars in the sky to remind me He is LIGHT, and in him is no darkness at all!

Sometimes I have to sing the song.......over and over and over.  Speak it to my heart.  Speak it to the fears that try to flood my mind, emotions, and will.  I need to fill my car with my Bible CD's.  Listening over and over and over to God's word.  It is the Sword.  It sooths the soul.  It helps me know, love and trust Him more. 

Will I rest tonight?  Will this "first born", over-thinker, detail-oriented, somewhat obsessive woman of almost 55 years of age be able to lay her burdens down at the feet of Jesus and claim the peace that passes all understanding?
Honestly, I'm not sure.  Some things I don't have control of......yet. Sleep is one battle that is out of my realm of control. I'm still a work in progress.
If I am awake, I can assure you that I will be praying!  I will be on "replay" in my mind of the scripture verses that God has firmly planted in my mind and heart. 
We only have to live one day at a time.
I keep forgetting that!!!!!!!!!!!

My God is BIGGER!  So is YOURS!    Bigger than all of the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm.  He never sleeps.  He's not tired.  He knows what we need.  We can trust him! He is BIGGER! 
Thank you, Jesus!

Pam

A place to belong......

I love the story of a conservative little church that had an unexpected visitor.  A disheveled young man...who obviously was not savvy in church "protocol" walked into the little church, down the middle isle, and seeing all of the pews full, he walked all the way to the front of the church and sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, ready to hear God's Word preached.
Every eye was on him.  There was whispering.....who is this "unkempt" man?  Does he really belong HERE?  ....and so the whispering continued, until.............
One of the older deacons of the church, walked down the middle isle toward this young man who did not seem to notice that all eyes were upon him.  The congregation wondered just what this older deacon would say to this man who didn't "belong".  You could have heard a pin drop.....
When the deacon reached the front of the church, and bent over, everyone assumed he was going to ask this uninvited guest to leave, but he didn't!
He patted the young man on the back, smiled at him, and then carefully inched his way onto the floor and sat down beside him.............the service continued.
What a lesson that congregation learned. 
Where is the ONE place we should ALL belong?  The young, the old, the unkempt, the rich, the poor, the person who knows "all" the rules, the person who just stepped foot in a church for the first time in his life....the beautiful, the angry, the sinner..........us all!

I've been in many a church through my almost 55 years of life.  I know the "lingo", and I speak "Christianese".  I have read the Bible through, cover to cover at least 30 times, I have been in more Bible studies than I can count.  I have taught Sunday School, VBS, sung in choirs, worked in the nursery.....  I know when to wear a dress, how to behave in church, and I know where each Bible verse is that the pastor asks us to look up.
However..........do I belong in church more than someone who might come to church in pants a little dirty, or too tight, or too short?  What about someone who doesn't know ANY of the old hymns?  What about the family who comes in and they are a little "rough around the edges"?  They just don't "match" the "rest of us"?  Do I belong more than they?

The following verses ALL state that God does NOT show favoritism: Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11, Galatians 2:6 and 6:9, & Colossians 3:25.  James chapter 2 tells us that Christians are not to show favoritism, and for us, it is sin.

Jesus said he came to seek and save the lost.  He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30)
He ate with the "sinners and tax collectors".  He loved on the little children.  He conversed with the Samaritan woman.  He touched the lepers.  He loved and fellowshipped with "regular folk".  The ones who didn't know all of the rules, and maybe even the ones that other believers would "shun".

Think about your fellowship at church.....just for a moment.  Who do you say "hi" to on Sunday morning?  Who do you gravitate to?  The people you know well, perhaps someone you spiritually look up to?  Others who have kids your kids age?  People just like you?  There's nothing wrong with that.....but are you willing to EXPAND your circle a little bit?

I invite you to take a look around you the next time you go to church.  Really SEE people.  Church is where people meet JESUS!  It's where they go to experience God, "with skin on".  What about that family who comes in, and their kids look like they didn't get their hair combed, and maybe they still have breakfast on their face.  The mom looks like she didn't have time to find something to wear that is "church-like" and maybe she is wearing a dress that's just a little too short, and the husband doesn't even really know why he came.  He's skeptical, ....as a family, they just want to find a place to belong, and they NEED Jesus!
Will you speak to THEM?  Will you seek them out as you look around the church with open eyes and allow the love of Jesus to flow out of you to anyone God places in your path?

Guess what....no matter the size of the church, people come from different backgrounds.  Each one is at a different place in their spiritual journey.  Some may be desperate....to save their marriage, to deal with struggling teens, or a handicapped child.  Some may have lost their job and their home, and their hope.  They need THEE HOPE! 

When a new couple shows up in your Sunday School class, and they don't really fit in the same mold as those of you who have grown up in the church.  They need some Christian families to learn from.  They need a disciple to show them how to walk the walk, and how to study God's Word.
Will you take a few minutes before church this Sunday to ask God what role he wants you to play in loving someone to Jesus?

Church is where Christians worship and fellowship together.  It's where we go to learn from each other, study God's word, sing praises, and pray ....where two or more are gathered together God is in the midst of them.......... It's also where those who want to know Jesus may wander in, or be invited in.  They're hesitant, they're spiritually hungry.....they just need a hug.

Will you take just a moment, as you walk into church this week to see people through Jesus' eyes?  Will you consider giving a hug to someone God brings in your path?  Will you shake hands with someone you don't know this week?  Will you strive to be a little more patient with someone in your Sunday School class that may not be as far down the spiritual road as you are?

I remember, one time, I misjudged someone.  God called me on it.
There was a young family that came to our church, and if you saw them any other day of the week, you'd never know they went to church.  They cursed, they smoked, they drank, they yelled too much, she wore her pants too tight, and he wasn't a very loving husband.  I judged them.  I made my assumptions.  God wasn't happy with me.  It was HIM who sent them to our church.
Then, He gave me a glimpse into their world.  I don't remember whether they had a baby, or whether someone had surgery, but I was to take a meal to their house.  I love doing that sort of thing, so I had no trouble with it.
I packed up my kids and we took a meal. 
They didn't grow up in the church, and they didn't know people in church took meals and prayed for each other.  She cried.  She had had a difficult life.  Their marriage was struggling, and he didn't want to go to church, but she wanted more for her family.  She was grateful....a simple meal, a prayer, a listening ear.  She came back to church again.....later, she and her husband gave their hearts to Jesus.  Slowly, ever so slowly, Jesus transformed them, from the inside out.  They didn't try to put on airs to impress, they just wanted to be like Jesus. 
My heart was forever changed. 

I always wanted to be a missionary.  Our little church had a missions week every year and the church supported missionaries were flown in, and families in the church hosted them for missions week.  Our family always "got one"!!!  My two closest friends and I would encourage our parents to hurry up and get our names in so that all the missionaries wouldn't be taken by someone else!  Our parents taught us to look outside of ourselves.  I remember looking at all of the missionary's "slides"....that's how we looked at pictures back then.  I dreamt of when I could be a missionary and go to a far away land.
I thought MISSIONS was ONLY in other countries.
I was wrong!

I AM a missionary right now.....every day.  To the co-workers or employees at work who just rub "me" the wrong way, and who don't know Jesus.  To the neighbors on my street....yes, even the ones that make life miserable when their dog barks all night or poops on my grass and they don't clean it up. 

I am a missionary when I go to church each week.

In a church as large as mine, I'm certain that there are more than just a few who come in each week, that don't know Jesus, and they are desperately seeking Him.
I'm a missionary to anyone God lays on my heart, puts in my path, or sits next to me in Sunday School or church.

I challenge you to do an "attitude check".  Why do you go to church?  Why does Jesus want you to go to church?  Do you show partiality?  Are you a little bit to quick to make assumptions or a judgment? 

Will you love, and serve, and smile, and consciously strive to be Jesus "with skin on" wherever you go, but ESPECIALLY at church?

It's a new day......His mercies are new EVERY morning!  Great is His faithfulness!
Go.....serve......love......give.....!

Pam

Giving 110%

We attended "Bedside Baptist" this morning, in Beaufort, SC.
Surfing the channels, we found Hour of Power. 
Haven't watched that show in years.  I believe this pastor's grandfather was the minister at that time!
This young pastor was spot on!

Have you ever heard that song, "While I'm Waiting"?
Here are the lyrics:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship

Sung by John Waller


The Pastor this morning, brought up the Scripture:
Colossians 3:23

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man..."

God wants us to give 110% to everything we do. 
You mean even when we don't have our "dream job" yet?  YUP!!
You mean even if we don't LIKE our boss, or the work, or the co-workers?  YUP!
You mean, even if we haven't had a raise in 3 years, and we aren't appreciated?  YUP!

2 Thessalonians 3:10

For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

How many young kids do you know that live at home even into their 20's rent free!?
How many young people do you know that think their first home purchase needs to be their DREAM home, and they refuse to "settle" on anything less?

Whatever happened to working hard and earning the privileges and blessings that come from giving your work your all?  And....learning to wait!  And learning that not everything comes easy.  And...sometimes it doesn't come at all.

Well.....what if you DO give your work your all, and you feel like you're going BACKWARDS, instead of forward?  What if you give MORE than 110%, and have been for years and years?  What if you just haven't seen the fruit of your labor, and you are weary, and overwhelmed and wondering if you have "enough" in you for tomorrow?????

Here's the real test!  Here's the real challenge....here's where you realize that life is more than just working for a reward!

My favorite inspirational speaker, Jim Rohn, says that It's not about the challenges, it's about who you BECOME through the challenges.
It's about BECOMING!  It's about serving, and loving, and giving, and hoping, and being a blessing, and it's about working hard!
We do our work for the Lord! 
Can we sweep floors for the Lord?  Of course!
Can we do yard work, care for children, cook for the family, clean toilets, and work a job we don't feel we should be at FOR THE LORD?   A RESOUNDING YES!!

You know what else?
When you feel like you are going backwards instead of forward.....WHAT IF that going backward is you being pulled back in a metaphorical sling shot?!  What if all of this pulling back is preparing you for when God launches you forward??!!!  Isn't that exciting?  Isn't that hopeful?  Isn't that worth getting all of the preparedness you can get, while you are waiting?!!

Let's think about that!  It puts a smile of hope on my face!
Have a great week!
Pam

A little R&R!

It's been a long few months.....about 72 months or more, in truth! 
This earthly life has its challenges, doesn't it?
It's so easy to be caught up in the daily pressures, struggles, and craziness of life that we can let it affect our relationships....with humans, and with God.
We know the truth.
",,,In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world" ---John 16:33

When times are easier, and we can relax, it's easy to love God, be thankful, and see the beauty in the little things.   When times are tough, and the troubles are so overwhelming that we can't see the sunlight for all the trees, --- when we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders, and we can't sense God's presence in it all............we blame God, and allow our faith to be shaken!

I've read the old testament dozens of times, and each time I think those Israelites are so crazy to know all God did for them in rescuing them from the Egyptians, and then complain when he provides food for them each morning for 40 years without them having to plant and cultivate it.  He parted the Red Sea, and yet they worried he wouldn't provide water to drink!
They were quick to build the golden calf, when Moses was up being mentored by God himself.....

Truth is, we are Israelites!  God gave us Jesus, and he clothes, and feeds the birds of the air, and provides rain for the grass, and the sun to shine each day, and yet we allow our faith to be shaken with the blowing of the wind. 

We neglect opportunities to get away to a quiet place and allow God to refresh us, to just listen to him in the stillness of the morning. 

So, in the midst of this stormy season of life, my husband and I are going to get away this weekend.  We have no huge agenda, but to enjoy a walk along the beach, a little hand holding, a lot of praying, a cup of coffee while watching the sun rise, or a cup of hot tea as the sun sets...........whatever the weekend holds, my prayer is for God to show us His Glory, and make His presence known. 

If this is where you are in life...........hold on tight to Jesus.  Don't let the storms break you, allow them to draw you to your Savior.  Climb up in his "lap" and allow Him to "wrap his arms around you" and rest, even for a moment, in the knowledge that he will NEVER leave you or forsake you.  Breathe deeply. 
Close your eyes. 
He NEVER sleeps......

Love,
Pam

"A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet"

This quote:  "A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet"
 was on a sign I saw in someone's entryway one time a long while ago..., and it made such an impression on me!
Proverbs 10:19 says, "When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise". 
Now THAT is a convicting verse!

My tongue has gotten me in trouble more times than I can count.  I wish it were not so, and that being a Christian would be the key to keeping my tongue in check, but it takes more than just being a Christian.
It takes daily....sometimes hourly....sometimes moment by moment giving my mind, and my tongue to the Lord.

My mom's close friend recently went "home" to be with Jesus.  What a deep loss will be felt in the lives of all who knew her.  People's comments about her were that she kept her voice under control, never said an unkind word, and knew when to talk and when not to......what a legacy!  What a tribute to all Christ has done in her, and to her character!

Unfortunately, my husband can't say that about me....and I am sad.  I could dwell on that and beat myself up about it, but..........that won't change anything.  The blessing in it all is that Christ paid for my sin.  I was bought with a price.  He forgave me, and keeps forgiving me.  His mercies are new every morning....and I can be changed!

In Romans 7:14-25 Paul (the Apostle) talks about battling his sin nature.  He wants to obey, but has trouble carrying it out.  He is grateful that Christ delivers him from sin.  I am grateful for that too.
I encourage you to read that passage when you have time.

My tongue has caused me to lose a friendship.........no, it wasn't "all" my fault, but most likely, I acted before asking God to give me HIS words.  My heart aches that this happened.  I have spoken before thinking on so many occasions.  Why does it take so long to master the tongue?

God's Word also says in Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he". 
Why am I bringing this verse into play when I am talking about the tongue?  Well............
because Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:35 remind us that "...out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks".

I won't speak it if I don't "think" it.  Now, I can't always control what thoughts come into my mind, but I can control whether I dwell on them, and let them become words that I speak.

I'm a planner.  I like to know what's coming, and I like to be prepared.  I am also a detailed person, and although this is a blessing, it can also be a weakness.  I can become overwhelmed with the details.  I can think about the "what if's" so much that I speak detrimental thoughts.  This can be a discouragement to my husband, my friends, and my family.

I do NOT want this. 
I want the Words of my mouth and the Meditations of my heart to be pleasing to the Lord! (see Psalm 19:14)

You know what else?  Satan (the enemy) does not know your thoughts!  He's NOT all knowing like God.  He does have his "assistants" who watch the Christians.....waiting for ways to trip them up and keep them from being effective for Christ.  He LISTENS to what you SAY.  This is another reason to be careful what you say!

James 1:19-20 tells us to be slow to speak....and a whole lot more....

Oh, how I want to be a "helpmeet" to my husband, an encourager to him, and have the faith and trust in my Savior I want to have. 
Oh, how I want to be the mom that my kids can look up to, I want them to see Christ in me, and I want them to hear Christ in the words I speak.  (They see me take it all to Him......and see me get up when I fail....sometimes slowly!)
Oh, how I want to be the friend that is worthy of their friendship....someone they can count on to keep my tongue in check.
I'm a work in progress. 
I must take every thought captive, and keep hiding God's Word in my heart so that it will keep me from sinning!

Have you heard that new song:  "Let them see You in me?...." 
Here is the web address:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgho0_JRetk

Let your words be few.....
Think: 
Is it necessary....
Is it true?
Is it kind?

Another week is upon us.....I wish you victory over your tongue this week!
Love,
Pam

Poem: "Myself"

As a teenager, I really loved poetry!  (still do!) My dad's mom was also a collector of poetry, and when she died, I "inherited" many copies of her favorite poems written on the backs of store grocery ads, on envelopes, and any piece of paper she could find.  She never wasted anything!  She was such a precious grandmother to me, and she always had time for her grandchildren.  I want to be like that!  I still have that notebook with all of the poems.  This poem is one of my favorites...and I honestly assumed that she had written it herself!  :-) The last half of the poem is different than what she had written on paper....so maybe she did do some of the "writing" after all!  She must have personalized it for a woman, since it was written by a man. 
Let the words of this poem give you resolve to stay on the narrow road, to live a life of integrity, and to never sell yourself short.  God has big plans for you!
Enjoy! 

 

MYSELF

Written by Edgar A. Guest

I have to live with myself and so

I want to be fit for myself to know.

I want to be able as days go by,

Always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don’t want to stand with the setting sun

And hate myself for the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf

A lot of secrets about myself

And fool myself as I come and go

Into thinking no one else will ever know

The kind of person I really am,

I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect

I want to deserve [people’s] respect;

But here in the struggle for fame and wealth

I want to be able to like myself.

I don’t want to look at myself and know

I am bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me;

I see what others may never see;

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool myself and so,

Whatever happens I want to be

Self-respecting and conscience free.

.
Edgar Guest (1881 – 1959) worked for more than sixty years at the Detroit Free Press, publishing his first poem at the age of seventeen, then going on to become a reporter and columnist whose work was featured in hundreds of newspapers around the country. Guest is said to have written some 11,000 poems during his lifetime, most of it sentimental, short, upbeat verse. Critics may have occassionally derided his work, but America adored him. He was known as the “People’s Poet,” served as Michigan’s poet laureate, hosted a long-running radio show and TV show, and published more than twenty books.  (Taken from Professions for PEACE blog---found via Google)

"Me"-time

I must admit....there is something that puts up a "red flag" when I hear talk about "me time".
 

The oxford dictionary definition of "me" time:

"...seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy"

Growing up, I had very self-sacrificing, generous parents, who were always giving of their time, talent and resources.  There wasn't much time for rest, and if they weren't sitting down..... they taught me that I shouldn't be sitting down!  It was constantly drilled into me not to be selfish. 
In fact, to this day, I'd be mortified if someone thought that I acted selfishly!
I can't tell you how many times I have copied, studied and memorized Philippians 2:3-4!!

Philippians 2:2-4 (NIV)

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 

Therefore, seeing the words "me" time, causes a little cringe.

 

Finding time to be refreshed, or have your spiritual cup "filled" is a good thing.
Getting together with a friend for coffee, having a manicure, attending a weekend women's retreat, or a ladies weekly Bible study......those are GOOD things!  They make us better mothers, wives and friends. 
We're nicer, and can "manage" life better!

 

When my kids were little, oh how I wished to have a moment to go to the bathroom by myself!  I also remember that my "cup" was always running on fumes.  I needed my spiritual "cup" to be filled!
My husband worked nights for 9 years when the kids were little.  I was able to be in a women's Bible Study at church, and I had a devotional time with the kids at supper every weekday.  It was a joy to instill God's truths in my kids, and have their eager hearts developing a faith of their own.  It also added to the refreshing that God wanted to do in me!
Honestly, I've always been a MORNING person!  By the time 8pm rolled around, I was out of steam as a mom of three little ones 23 months apart. Thankfully, I taught my kids: "once in bed, stay in bed".  I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with bedtime shenanigans.  We had our routine, and they counted on it, and so did I.
Was my time my own, once they got in bed???  Of course not!  I was a young mother!  All of the things I couldn't get done during the day, needed to be done in the evening. 
But you know what?  I tried to take at least 15 minutes each evening to crawl in bed with my Bible and seek refreshment!  I may also have taken a shower, read a chapter in a favorite historical Christian fiction novel, listened to a favorite worship 'tape', or called a friend for some adult conversation. 

Could that be considered "me" time?  I suppose so! 
I don't think that everyone has the SAME definition of "me" time that I just described.

My observation is more of an "I deserve time for ME!" or "What about ME!"
This can be a disastrous dynamic within a marriage. He gets his "me" time, and she needs to make sure she gets the same amount of "me" time...., and pretty soon, couples are battling each other for time to do what "they" want!  Keeping score is never a good game plan in marriage.

Ron Hutchcraft Ministries calls it: ( I found them on google)
"The "me" monster. That's the tendency to think about myself most of the time....
There's nothing like hurt and pain and pressure to turn us into self-focused people. Too often, life is about my needs, my issues, my problems, my agenda, my feelings, my load. But a life of self-focus or self-pity or self-centeredness is just not how we were wired to live, especially if we belong to Jesus Christ."

Truth be told---- what I don't like is the phrase: "me" time.  I don't like the focus to be so "me" "me" "me".
I ask you:  What are we here for?  What is our purpose?  How do we find balance, and take time to be refreshed and rejuvenated? 

Selfish demands for "me" implies thinking we "deserve", and we are "entitled" to what we want.
We foster this attitude in our children when we buy them something every time we go somewhere.  Or when they think they need the newest toy, or a weekly manicure, or multiple expensive gifts for every occasion!

I found this song chorus sung by Heather Headley:
I need some me time
Not some you and some I
Just some me time, oh-
I need some she time
Not some him and some her
Just some free time, oh-
I wanna run with my girls
Hit the club, hit the mall
Get my nails and hair done
Spend a day at the spa
Boy you ain't gotta worry
There ain't nothin' goin' on
I need some me time
That's all, and that's all
 I just keep thinking about the first sentence in the book:  The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
"It's not about you".   
That first chapter goes on to say:
"The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams or ambitions...You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. ...We ask self-centered questions like What do I want to be?  What should I do with my life?  What are my goals, my ambitions, my dreams for my future?  ...Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purpose." 


---take time for refreshing, take time to find your purpose, and let God fill your spiritual "cup" full to overflowing!  Take time to pray for and with your husband or close friend if you aren't married. Share your struggles, find ways to give each other moments of rest.  If your attitude or definitions need to be adjusted, make that change, and remember, God's mercies are new EVERY morning!

Love,
Pam

Does God want us to be HAPPY?

I keep hearing, "I just want my kids to be happy", or "I just want to be happy", or "I just want you to be happy"....."God wants us to be happy".

I'm pretty sure that "happiness" is NOT the goal for the Christian.  There are plenty of verses in the Bible that use the word "happy".  I don't think there is anything wrong with being happy. 

Trouble begins when we think we have the "right" to be happy....and that happiness is what we seek.  What about the wife or husband that just doesn't feel happy in the marriage?  Never have I heard wedding vows include "as long as we are happy"!

We have to face the fact that life isn't supposed to be easy.  We blew it in the Garden of Eden, and now we toil... we work, and relationships are not easy, they take work.  This points us to our need for a Savior....and a GREAT one we have!  We won't always be happy.

God wants us to have an abundant life!  Check out the following verses:

Psalm 31:19

How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.

Proverbs 28:19

Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

Psalm 145:7

They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

 

It's so easy to forget that this earth is not our final home.  There is a heavenly home for those who choose Jesus as Savior.  We get bogged down in the daily struggles of life, and forget that God has a purpose in our being here.  We can enjoy the journey, and we want His Joy to be present in our countenance, but we want our lives to point others to Him.  To allow His Glory to shine through our weaknesses.

 

What about JOY? 

 

Author and Pastor,  Rick Warren says:

"Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.
You’ll find nothing in that definition about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is fleeting and temporary."
 

 We definitely want to live a life filled with Joy!  The Psalms are FULL of verses that tell us to "shout for joy".  Joy is more than a feeling.  It doesn't mean feeling good all of the time.  Joy includes God's peace.  Joy is knowing that nothing can separate us from God's love.  Joy can be experienced even in the midst of extreme trial. (see Romans 8:35-39).  And of course, we know that weeping may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning! (from Psalm 30:5)

 

And then there is : "fulfilled" and "satisfied".  The Old Testament uses the word "satisfied" in connection with eating.  We eat and are satisfied.  We sometimes equate satisfied and happy.  Happy can have the descriptive words: content, delighted, pleased or glad over something, pleasure, or joy.

 

Let's go back to the original question asked:  Does God want us to be HAPPY? 

My answer is:  He wants us to live "holy", set-apart lives that bring Glory to His name!  He wants us to live abundant lives, avoiding sin, and seeking Him.  He wants us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength....and our neighbor as ourselves.  He wants us to grow in faith, and knowledge, and point others to the truth.  If we are Happy in that....then that is what he wants!

 

If to be happy, we think we need to buy things we can't afford, go back on our promises---especially in marriage, quit when the going gets a little rough....because we aren't happy, then I don't think God wants us to choose happiness as the goal here. 

We don't want our kids to be HAPPY, we want them to know the JOY of hard work accomplished, the struggle worked through, and a life lived for God.  It won't be easy.  They won't always feel happy.

 

Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble.... (John 16:33)

buy he does leave his peace with us!

 

There is so much more to be said on this subject. 

When we live our life in the center of God's will, I think we will be happy.  No matter what the circumstances. 

 

"Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well." Matthew 6:33

 

I welcome your comments! 

Be blessed!

Pam