Is it even remotely possible to be all things to all people?
By my actions, you'd think so. For some reason, I seem to think that it is possible to be all things to all people. The truth is, that the answer is no. If it were, I would definitely do my best to make that happen.
You cannot please all of the people all of the time.
Some people you can never please, and some people you shouldn't be your priority to please, and others, you can do your best, but there will always be something "more" that needs to be done, to please them.
How do you decide who to please, when?
It's not easy....my head spins so often. Honestly, I consistently ignore the truth, and run around like a crazy person, as though my very worth depends on meeting everyone's needs.
So, what should your priority be? Let's start with the one who made you, and the one who loves and understands you most. God! He loves, loves, loves you! He says that we need to come to him, when we are weary and heavy laden and he will give us rest! We are to take HIS yoke upon us because HIS burdens are light. He knows what we need, and He wants to meet OUR needs. He died for you, has a purpose for your life, and will be with you through thick and thin. I'd say that is a pretty good reason to please God first and foremost!
How can we do this best? By loving the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength, and your neighbor as yourself.
You don't please God by the clothes you wear, your "style", your material possessions, whether you keep your cool in stressful situations, etc. You love Him, thank Him, serve him, praise him! The priorities need to be: God first, husband (spouse) second, family third.....others, after that.
It's impossible to please everyone, all of the time.
It sets you up for failure and discouragement. It can ruin your day.
Seek HIM first, and everything else "will be added to you". It isn't easy, but it can be done!
Happy weekend!
Pam
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
It is better to not marry, than to marry the wrong one!
I always knew I wanted to be married!
I started writing my "list" of important qualities for a husband when I was in junior high!
First on the list: I wanted him to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I wanted him to know his Savior, and I wanted us to be on the same page spiritually.
It was also important that he love his family, and treat his parents with respect. If he could treat them respect, that was a good indication that he would also be willing to treat me with respect.
Also important on the list: my parents must approve.
Some people don't agree with this one, but think about it........if family is important to you, then you will be spending time with them, and all will be happier if your family likes your spouse. My parents also LOVE me, and want the best for me. They might see something I don't see. Who would want me to choose the right one more than my parents?
The man of my dreams would also need to love children! He would want to take an active role in parenting, and we would be on the "same page" as far as children and family are concerned.
Important on my personal list is that I wanted to have opportunities to serve God in mission work, and I wanted a husband with a heart for our community, our country, and the world.
Ok....I also had "handsome" on my list!
I love traveling, so I also put "loves to travel" on my list of requirements for a husband.
I didn't want to marry someone that did "his thing" while I did "my thing". I wanted to get married to have a relationship with my husband, and for us to enjoy spending time together, so it would be important to me that my spouse that would have those same things as his priority.
Next on this list would be money, work, and all things like that: I wanted a man with ambition, drive, and dreams. Not that I want to be "rich" materially, but my dad was very hardworking and ambitious, and those are qualities that were top of my list! I did want basic needs met, and a husband who believed God put HIM as head of the household, and he would want to lead!
As with most little girls, I dreamed of my wedding. What kind of gown I wanted, what flowers I would want, the color of the dresses, etc.
It would be special, with all of my family and friends there!
Then.....when I was a teenager, I didn't really do much dating. When I did, the few guys that I did date, did NOT meet any of the requirements on my list. So as I started college, my focus was going to be on getting good grades, not worrying about dating. There would be time for that after college.
Then, I met Dave. He was best friends with a guy that was often hanging out with the girls in my dorm. Within just a few months of dating, I knew that he was the ONE for me! He met ALL of the requirements on my list, AND MORE! We were engaged on my 20th birthday, and married 7 months later. That was 34 1/2 years ago.
Have the roads all been smooth? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Has life been easy? Absolutely not!!!!
Did I marry the RIGHT guy? A resounding YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I see so many young girls who "settle".
They long to be loved by someone....ANYONE!
They give away their purity to the first boy who makes them "feel" pretty and special, and then that guy breaks their heart and doesn't cherish the gift they gave away, and then, the cycle continues, and you can never erase the hurts and cannot get your purity back.
God does a great job of restoring broken hearts, and giving us second chances.....but the first time can only be given once.
When God created marriage, love, and sex, he designed it to be within marriage.
Do you think he did that to punish us, or keep something good "from" us? NO!!!!
God's design was for you to have the BEST! He knows that he "did good" when he created all of that physical love stuff, and that once a relationship "goes there", there is no going back, and often it "stops" the learning about each other stuff, and relationships get clouded.
It's all about how I "feel", and how he/she makes me "feel".
Women give their "all" when they give their bodies. It's emotional, and physical, and even spiritual. Though men take sex seriously too, God wired them differently.
They can care about someone, but the sex drive is so strong, that they can give their bodies without giving their total hearts commitment.
This can cause so many struggles.
I think it's funny how some young people think you have to "live" with someone before you marry them to see if you are a match. MY thoughts here are that if you spend time getting to know each other WITHOUT sex, and focus on learning about each other, families, and each other's friends, you learn more than necessary to make an informed decision on a life partner.
Many young girls want a relationship with a guy so badly, thinking they need it to validate their worth. Does this make sense? How do you choose who gets to validate your worth? What if they do make you feel validated for a while, and then the relationship ends?
These girls, too quickly, give their heart, and their body before either the guy nor the girl are ready for this type of relationship. She expects him to meet all of her love needs, and things end badly.....often with little children who have joined the family, and they must deal with all of the emotional trauma of it all.
Marriage can be TERRIFIC! Marriage can be a NIGHTMARE----if you marry the wrong one!
If you do it right, and marry the right one, you love, learn, and grow together through all of the trials, challenges, and change of life.
If you marry the wrong one, you've pledged the rest of your life to the WRONG ONE!
If one or both marriage partners will commit to grow and change and become what is necessary to become to make the marriage good and "right", it can work, but a lot of heartache could have been saved.
No matter who you marry, it will NOT be smooth sailing. There are two separate people here who have their own ideas, and ways of doing things. Change, compromise, commitment, growth, and forgiveness are such a big part of making a marriage work.
If being married is something you desire with your whole heart....take this up with God! Tell Him your desires. Seek what he has to say about it in His Word. Then, go to work! Work? Yup!!
You need to become the woman of HIS DREAMS!
While you are waiting for the man of YOUR dreams, you need to work to become the woman of HIS!
If you are focused on wanting God's best for you, and working to become all you want to be as a wife who has a heart for God....the wait won't be so "long", and at just the right time, you will meet the ONE you've been waiting for.
Don't worry, and don't settle. God's BEST for your life is WORTH waiting for!
Are you ready?
Here are some suggestions on books to read to help you get ready.....or if you are married, and need to "go back" and have a "do-over"....these are just a sampling of great books out there on preparing for marriage, and making it work.
"Becoming the Woman of His Dreams" by Sharon Jaynes
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"For Better or Best" by Gary Smalley
"Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot
"How to Listen to God" by Charles Stanley
and many many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm praying for you! I really am, RIGHT NOW!
May your heart be saved for the one God has for you.
May you want HIS BEST in a mate.
May your commitment to your mate be lifelong, and may you be blessed beyond anything you could ask or imagine!
God loves you, and wants to give you the desires of your heart!
Pam
I started writing my "list" of important qualities for a husband when I was in junior high!
First on the list: I wanted him to have a personal relationship with Jesus. I wanted him to know his Savior, and I wanted us to be on the same page spiritually.
It was also important that he love his family, and treat his parents with respect. If he could treat them respect, that was a good indication that he would also be willing to treat me with respect.
Also important on the list: my parents must approve.
Some people don't agree with this one, but think about it........if family is important to you, then you will be spending time with them, and all will be happier if your family likes your spouse. My parents also LOVE me, and want the best for me. They might see something I don't see. Who would want me to choose the right one more than my parents?
The man of my dreams would also need to love children! He would want to take an active role in parenting, and we would be on the "same page" as far as children and family are concerned.
Important on my personal list is that I wanted to have opportunities to serve God in mission work, and I wanted a husband with a heart for our community, our country, and the world.
Ok....I also had "handsome" on my list!
I love traveling, so I also put "loves to travel" on my list of requirements for a husband.
I didn't want to marry someone that did "his thing" while I did "my thing". I wanted to get married to have a relationship with my husband, and for us to enjoy spending time together, so it would be important to me that my spouse that would have those same things as his priority.
Next on this list would be money, work, and all things like that: I wanted a man with ambition, drive, and dreams. Not that I want to be "rich" materially, but my dad was very hardworking and ambitious, and those are qualities that were top of my list! I did want basic needs met, and a husband who believed God put HIM as head of the household, and he would want to lead!
As with most little girls, I dreamed of my wedding. What kind of gown I wanted, what flowers I would want, the color of the dresses, etc.
It would be special, with all of my family and friends there!
Then.....when I was a teenager, I didn't really do much dating. When I did, the few guys that I did date, did NOT meet any of the requirements on my list. So as I started college, my focus was going to be on getting good grades, not worrying about dating. There would be time for that after college.
Then, I met Dave. He was best friends with a guy that was often hanging out with the girls in my dorm. Within just a few months of dating, I knew that he was the ONE for me! He met ALL of the requirements on my list, AND MORE! We were engaged on my 20th birthday, and married 7 months later. That was 34 1/2 years ago.
Have the roads all been smooth? NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Has life been easy? Absolutely not!!!!
Did I marry the RIGHT guy? A resounding YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I see so many young girls who "settle".
They long to be loved by someone....ANYONE!
They give away their purity to the first boy who makes them "feel" pretty and special, and then that guy breaks their heart and doesn't cherish the gift they gave away, and then, the cycle continues, and you can never erase the hurts and cannot get your purity back.
God does a great job of restoring broken hearts, and giving us second chances.....but the first time can only be given once.
When God created marriage, love, and sex, he designed it to be within marriage.
Do you think he did that to punish us, or keep something good "from" us? NO!!!!
God's design was for you to have the BEST! He knows that he "did good" when he created all of that physical love stuff, and that once a relationship "goes there", there is no going back, and often it "stops" the learning about each other stuff, and relationships get clouded.
It's all about how I "feel", and how he/she makes me "feel".
Women give their "all" when they give their bodies. It's emotional, and physical, and even spiritual. Though men take sex seriously too, God wired them differently.
They can care about someone, but the sex drive is so strong, that they can give their bodies without giving their total hearts commitment.
This can cause so many struggles.
I think it's funny how some young people think you have to "live" with someone before you marry them to see if you are a match. MY thoughts here are that if you spend time getting to know each other WITHOUT sex, and focus on learning about each other, families, and each other's friends, you learn more than necessary to make an informed decision on a life partner.
Many young girls want a relationship with a guy so badly, thinking they need it to validate their worth. Does this make sense? How do you choose who gets to validate your worth? What if they do make you feel validated for a while, and then the relationship ends?
These girls, too quickly, give their heart, and their body before either the guy nor the girl are ready for this type of relationship. She expects him to meet all of her love needs, and things end badly.....often with little children who have joined the family, and they must deal with all of the emotional trauma of it all.
Marriage can be TERRIFIC! Marriage can be a NIGHTMARE----if you marry the wrong one!
If you do it right, and marry the right one, you love, learn, and grow together through all of the trials, challenges, and change of life.
If you marry the wrong one, you've pledged the rest of your life to the WRONG ONE!
If one or both marriage partners will commit to grow and change and become what is necessary to become to make the marriage good and "right", it can work, but a lot of heartache could have been saved.
No matter who you marry, it will NOT be smooth sailing. There are two separate people here who have their own ideas, and ways of doing things. Change, compromise, commitment, growth, and forgiveness are such a big part of making a marriage work.
If being married is something you desire with your whole heart....take this up with God! Tell Him your desires. Seek what he has to say about it in His Word. Then, go to work! Work? Yup!!
You need to become the woman of HIS DREAMS!
While you are waiting for the man of YOUR dreams, you need to work to become the woman of HIS!
If you are focused on wanting God's best for you, and working to become all you want to be as a wife who has a heart for God....the wait won't be so "long", and at just the right time, you will meet the ONE you've been waiting for.
Don't worry, and don't settle. God's BEST for your life is WORTH waiting for!
Are you ready?
Here are some suggestions on books to read to help you get ready.....or if you are married, and need to "go back" and have a "do-over"....these are just a sampling of great books out there on preparing for marriage, and making it work.
"Becoming the Woman of His Dreams" by Sharon Jaynes
"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"For Better or Best" by Gary Smalley
"Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot
"How to Listen to God" by Charles Stanley
and many many more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm praying for you! I really am, RIGHT NOW!
May your heart be saved for the one God has for you.
May you want HIS BEST in a mate.
May your commitment to your mate be lifelong, and may you be blessed beyond anything you could ask or imagine!
God loves you, and wants to give you the desires of your heart!
Pam
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
A special mom remembered, a legacy pondered.......
Today I went to a funeral. Such a sad time for the family, who will miss this precious mom so much! The blessing in it all, is that she lived a wonderful, full, loving, giving, passionate, purposeful life!
Each of her three daughters wrote a tribute, and the husband of the oldest daughter read them. This mom was so loved and cherished.
The memories that the daughters held dear were ones where the mom gave of herself---taught a valuable life lesson, or just lived her life as an example before her daughters, and that made an impression on her girls that impacted their entire lives.
One daughter spoke of how she wanted a marriage like her mom and dad's. She said that her mom taught her about following her husband, and being his partner no matter where that lead. She spoke of how her mom taught her to fry some onions if he came home from work, and she had no idea what to make for dinner....the smell would make him believe something delicious was soon to be ready! She was loving, creative, and purposeful.
This precious woman loved the Lord, and made sure that each of her children had every opportunity to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Her kids saw a mom who lived what she believed. It was important to her that God's plan of salvation was shared at her funeral......
Funerals often cause me to ask myself:
What will be said of me when I am gone?
Thankfully, God is not finished with me yet, and he promises to complete what he started in me!
This precious time of tribute to my friend's mom, gave me cause to examine what kind of wife, mom, and grandma I am.
From the time I was a very young girl, I couldn't wait to be a mommy! I probably played with dolls longer than many girls my age, and started working in the church nursery as soon as they would let me! I babysat every chance I could get from the time I was 12. From a very early age, my dreams and goals were "set".
We got married at age 20. As much as I loved being married, and loved my husband, I wanted a family with him. I wanted us to be parents! Though my parents were surprised and concerned that I got pregnant after only 7 months of marriage......I was thrilled! I didn't finish nursing school, which was the reason for my parent's concern, but my dreams were realized! I married the man of my dreams, and had a child of my own!
Not only a precious son, but MY precious son! He called me "mommy"! Then, within 3 1/2 years, I had three children. I couldn't have been happier.
The road has definitely not been smooth. Parenting reveals the flaws! I had a lot of issues with impatience. I expected my children to care about doing things the way I wanted them to. My husband worked nights for the first 9 years of our kids lives, and evenings were exhausting and lonely.
We made sacrifices.....I never held a full-time job away from home when I had kids. I've been a certified nursing assistant and medication aide. I have cleaned houses and done ironing. I sold Crystal with a "party plan". I watched other people's children. I worked in a coffee shop.
But my family, and my marriage were the priority commitment. We chose to live with cars that usually had bondo on them somewhere! We chose simple vacations, and everything fun we did, I called "vacation". Our kids thought we went on lots of vacations!
We decided to do some homeschooling, and some private schooling through the kids growing up years. I learned more than the kids did.
When I talk to my kids, who are now adults, we remember many fun times together, times of learning, and the things that I wish I would have handled differently, are not a big deal to them. Since my daughter's are now mothers, they see life through different eyes.
A neighbor once told me that as she held her newborn son for the first time, she called her mom in tears and thanked her for loving her.....she said she never realized how much a mother loves her child until that very moment when she was holding her own child in her arms.
How true those words are.
Each day is a gift....it isn't promised.
Each relationship God gives you opportunity to have, has a purpose....pour the best you have to give into those relationships. Memories will be made.
Don't be afraid to apologize and ask forgiveness. It keeps you humble, and as Beth Moore says, "If you don't humble yourself, God will have to do it for you!".
Each day you live is a chance for a "do-over"!
And we can be thankful in this.
Pam
Each of her three daughters wrote a tribute, and the husband of the oldest daughter read them. This mom was so loved and cherished.
The memories that the daughters held dear were ones where the mom gave of herself---taught a valuable life lesson, or just lived her life as an example before her daughters, and that made an impression on her girls that impacted their entire lives.
One daughter spoke of how she wanted a marriage like her mom and dad's. She said that her mom taught her about following her husband, and being his partner no matter where that lead. She spoke of how her mom taught her to fry some onions if he came home from work, and she had no idea what to make for dinner....the smell would make him believe something delicious was soon to be ready! She was loving, creative, and purposeful.
This precious woman loved the Lord, and made sure that each of her children had every opportunity to develop a personal relationship with Jesus. Her kids saw a mom who lived what she believed. It was important to her that God's plan of salvation was shared at her funeral......
Funerals often cause me to ask myself:
What will be said of me when I am gone?
Thankfully, God is not finished with me yet, and he promises to complete what he started in me!
This precious time of tribute to my friend's mom, gave me cause to examine what kind of wife, mom, and grandma I am.
From the time I was a very young girl, I couldn't wait to be a mommy! I probably played with dolls longer than many girls my age, and started working in the church nursery as soon as they would let me! I babysat every chance I could get from the time I was 12. From a very early age, my dreams and goals were "set".
We got married at age 20. As much as I loved being married, and loved my husband, I wanted a family with him. I wanted us to be parents! Though my parents were surprised and concerned that I got pregnant after only 7 months of marriage......I was thrilled! I didn't finish nursing school, which was the reason for my parent's concern, but my dreams were realized! I married the man of my dreams, and had a child of my own!
Not only a precious son, but MY precious son! He called me "mommy"! Then, within 3 1/2 years, I had three children. I couldn't have been happier.
The road has definitely not been smooth. Parenting reveals the flaws! I had a lot of issues with impatience. I expected my children to care about doing things the way I wanted them to. My husband worked nights for the first 9 years of our kids lives, and evenings were exhausting and lonely.
We made sacrifices.....I never held a full-time job away from home when I had kids. I've been a certified nursing assistant and medication aide. I have cleaned houses and done ironing. I sold Crystal with a "party plan". I watched other people's children. I worked in a coffee shop.
But my family, and my marriage were the priority commitment. We chose to live with cars that usually had bondo on them somewhere! We chose simple vacations, and everything fun we did, I called "vacation". Our kids thought we went on lots of vacations!
We decided to do some homeschooling, and some private schooling through the kids growing up years. I learned more than the kids did.
When I talk to my kids, who are now adults, we remember many fun times together, times of learning, and the things that I wish I would have handled differently, are not a big deal to them. Since my daughter's are now mothers, they see life through different eyes.
A neighbor once told me that as she held her newborn son for the first time, she called her mom in tears and thanked her for loving her.....she said she never realized how much a mother loves her child until that very moment when she was holding her own child in her arms.
How true those words are.
Each day is a gift....it isn't promised.
Each relationship God gives you opportunity to have, has a purpose....pour the best you have to give into those relationships. Memories will be made.
Don't be afraid to apologize and ask forgiveness. It keeps you humble, and as Beth Moore says, "If you don't humble yourself, God will have to do it for you!".
Each day you live is a chance for a "do-over"!
And we can be thankful in this.
Pam
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