"To drink or not to drink....that is the question!"

I grew up in a suburb of Omaha, Nebraska.  When we started going to church, it was at a fairly conservative Baptist Church. 
Though we weren't always told the "why's", and I certainly didn't understand all of the rules set, one thing I did truly grasp, and have embraced as an adult is that as a Christian, Christ lives in my heart!
I represent Him with how I live my life.  Do I do it perfectly, or even "well"?  Not always. 

Our youth group was the best thing about my teenage years!  Many a Bible School student did their internship working with our youth group.  They were enthusiastic, and most importantly, they were committed to living a life that was an outward expression of their inner commitment to Christ.

Those youth group leaders taught us that God wants Christians to be DIFFERENT than the "world".  The world is hungry for what Christ has to offer, and they will be watching us as Christians, to see if what we have, has made a difference in our lives.

There is so much "darkness" in the world, but God is LIGHT!  In HIM there is no darkness at all!
(I John 1:5)
Acts 13:47 says that we are to be a light, and bring salvation to the world.  We carry the light of Jesus in our hearts.  We need to "let it shine"!

Ephesians 5:8 (NIV)

^8 "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light."

It's not about "rules", though God has plenty to say about how a Christian lives their life.  My favorite passage on Christian living is Colossians 3.

How does this relate to the title of this post?
Conversations about whether Christians should drink alcoholic beverages is one that will come with much debate.  The Bible does not say that Christians shouldn't drink.  It says that they shouldn't be drunk. (Ephesians 5:18) It also says that Christians should live their lives in such a way that they are not a stumbling block to a newer Christian, or someone seeking Christ.(1 Corinthians 8:9)

May I say that I offer this blog post as food for thought, not as a condemnation to any Christian who thinks drinking is ok for them.  This is my personal conviction.  How I believe God wants me to approach the topic of drinking.  If my convictions prompt your heart to rethink this issue for yourself, then it is between you and the Lord.

So, after the verses above, and all of the "preface", God tells me to be holy....not perfect, but set apart.  Different than the world.  A light, shining, that points those in darkness to Christ, the source of all light.  How can they find it in me, if I am no different than they are?

As Christians, we have freedom in Christ!  We have freedom to eat meat or not eat meat.  To dance, see movies....or not.  We can go to a church that doesn't use musical instruments in their service, or attend a service that uses a band and Praise team.  We have freedom in this....freedom in our worship.  Women can wear dresses or slacks to church, cover their heads, or let their hair be their covering.  Women can even be pastors, and there are all sorts of freedoms we have in expressing our Christian faith. 

God's WORD is our absolute truth...we must believe and live with his WORD as our guide.  That is a non-negotiable.

Drinking alcohol.....we have freedom in this as well...........within limits.
What if we choose to drink around a believer who has had a problem with alcohol in their past, or even their present.  Is it letting Christ's light shine if we drink around them?  Or, is it being a stumbling block?   We need to make wise decisions, taking others into consideration. 

For me, being "set apart", means that I do not choose to drink alcohol.  Have I ever used 1/2 cup of wine in a recipe?  A few times, I have.  Would I be careful who I made that recipe for, absolutely. 

My kids are watching.  Do I live my convictions?
My grandchildren are watching.  Do I live a life that points them to Christ? 
I don't want  them to think being a Christian is easy.  I want them to have convictions and live by them. 

This is a difficult subject to cover.  I want to make certain to state that I am not condemning those who respectfully, carefully, moderately drink alcohol.
I won't make others' choices for them.

For those who are questioning, and in the process of making this decision for themselves, this is how the decision came about for me.

Live what you believe.  Stand firm in your convictions.

Have a great week!
Pam





 

My God is SO Big!

You know what?  It's been a rough week!  Did you notice it's only Wednesday?!!
Some weeks are like that.  I will "liken" it to labor pains.........the "contractions" are getting closer together, there are many more of them, and the pain is more intense.  Bummer is, don't think there will be a baby at the end of this rough patch.
Just when we think the challenges can't get more difficult, they do.  I didn't think this would happen.....Crazy!

Then, what happens?  I go to Awanas with my precious little granddaughter, and we sing (like we do every week)---"My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty; there's NOTHING my God cannot do!"

God is BIGGER than these challenges.  God doesn't want us to be afraid--- our Bible verse this week was Psalm 56:11 "In God I trust and am not afraid.  What can man do to me?"
So, do I believe what God says?  When the challenges pour down, do I hide in the shelter of His wing and trust that he's got my best in mind? 
I will CHOOSE to believe.  I will NOT go by how I feel, or even what I "see", I will CHOOSE to believe God's Word. 

The song goes on to say, "The mountains are His, the valleys are his, the stars are His handiwork too..."  So, if things are all uphill, and the road is rocky.....HE owns it, and will be with me whether I am climbing the mountain, or standing on top.  If the valley is low, and it seems dark....He made the valley too, and will be with me!  He sets the stars in the sky to remind me He is LIGHT, and in him is no darkness at all!

Sometimes I have to sing the song.......over and over and over.  Speak it to my heart.  Speak it to the fears that try to flood my mind, emotions, and will.  I need to fill my car with my Bible CD's.  Listening over and over and over to God's word.  It is the Sword.  It sooths the soul.  It helps me know, love and trust Him more. 

Will I rest tonight?  Will this "first born", over-thinker, detail-oriented, somewhat obsessive woman of almost 55 years of age be able to lay her burdens down at the feet of Jesus and claim the peace that passes all understanding?
Honestly, I'm not sure.  Some things I don't have control of......yet. Sleep is one battle that is out of my realm of control. I'm still a work in progress.
If I am awake, I can assure you that I will be praying!  I will be on "replay" in my mind of the scripture verses that God has firmly planted in my mind and heart. 
We only have to live one day at a time.
I keep forgetting that!!!!!!!!!!!

My God is BIGGER!  So is YOURS!    Bigger than all of the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm.  He never sleeps.  He's not tired.  He knows what we need.  We can trust him! He is BIGGER! 
Thank you, Jesus!

Pam

A place to belong......

I love the story of a conservative little church that had an unexpected visitor.  A disheveled young man...who obviously was not savvy in church "protocol" walked into the little church, down the middle isle, and seeing all of the pews full, he walked all the way to the front of the church and sat down on the floor with his legs crossed, ready to hear God's Word preached.
Every eye was on him.  There was whispering.....who is this "unkempt" man?  Does he really belong HERE?  ....and so the whispering continued, until.............
One of the older deacons of the church, walked down the middle isle toward this young man who did not seem to notice that all eyes were upon him.  The congregation wondered just what this older deacon would say to this man who didn't "belong".  You could have heard a pin drop.....
When the deacon reached the front of the church, and bent over, everyone assumed he was going to ask this uninvited guest to leave, but he didn't!
He patted the young man on the back, smiled at him, and then carefully inched his way onto the floor and sat down beside him.............the service continued.
What a lesson that congregation learned. 
Where is the ONE place we should ALL belong?  The young, the old, the unkempt, the rich, the poor, the person who knows "all" the rules, the person who just stepped foot in a church for the first time in his life....the beautiful, the angry, the sinner..........us all!

I've been in many a church through my almost 55 years of life.  I know the "lingo", and I speak "Christianese".  I have read the Bible through, cover to cover at least 30 times, I have been in more Bible studies than I can count.  I have taught Sunday School, VBS, sung in choirs, worked in the nursery.....  I know when to wear a dress, how to behave in church, and I know where each Bible verse is that the pastor asks us to look up.
However..........do I belong in church more than someone who might come to church in pants a little dirty, or too tight, or too short?  What about someone who doesn't know ANY of the old hymns?  What about the family who comes in and they are a little "rough around the edges"?  They just don't "match" the "rest of us"?  Do I belong more than they?

The following verses ALL state that God does NOT show favoritism: Acts 10:34, Romans 2:11, Galatians 2:6 and 6:9, & Colossians 3:25.  James chapter 2 tells us that Christians are not to show favoritism, and for us, it is sin.

Jesus said he came to seek and save the lost.  He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Matthew 11:28-30)
He ate with the "sinners and tax collectors".  He loved on the little children.  He conversed with the Samaritan woman.  He touched the lepers.  He loved and fellowshipped with "regular folk".  The ones who didn't know all of the rules, and maybe even the ones that other believers would "shun".

Think about your fellowship at church.....just for a moment.  Who do you say "hi" to on Sunday morning?  Who do you gravitate to?  The people you know well, perhaps someone you spiritually look up to?  Others who have kids your kids age?  People just like you?  There's nothing wrong with that.....but are you willing to EXPAND your circle a little bit?

I invite you to take a look around you the next time you go to church.  Really SEE people.  Church is where people meet JESUS!  It's where they go to experience God, "with skin on".  What about that family who comes in, and their kids look like they didn't get their hair combed, and maybe they still have breakfast on their face.  The mom looks like she didn't have time to find something to wear that is "church-like" and maybe she is wearing a dress that's just a little too short, and the husband doesn't even really know why he came.  He's skeptical, ....as a family, they just want to find a place to belong, and they NEED Jesus!
Will you speak to THEM?  Will you seek them out as you look around the church with open eyes and allow the love of Jesus to flow out of you to anyone God places in your path?

Guess what....no matter the size of the church, people come from different backgrounds.  Each one is at a different place in their spiritual journey.  Some may be desperate....to save their marriage, to deal with struggling teens, or a handicapped child.  Some may have lost their job and their home, and their hope.  They need THEE HOPE! 

When a new couple shows up in your Sunday School class, and they don't really fit in the same mold as those of you who have grown up in the church.  They need some Christian families to learn from.  They need a disciple to show them how to walk the walk, and how to study God's Word.
Will you take a few minutes before church this Sunday to ask God what role he wants you to play in loving someone to Jesus?

Church is where Christians worship and fellowship together.  It's where we go to learn from each other, study God's word, sing praises, and pray ....where two or more are gathered together God is in the midst of them.......... It's also where those who want to know Jesus may wander in, or be invited in.  They're hesitant, they're spiritually hungry.....they just need a hug.

Will you take just a moment, as you walk into church this week to see people through Jesus' eyes?  Will you consider giving a hug to someone God brings in your path?  Will you shake hands with someone you don't know this week?  Will you strive to be a little more patient with someone in your Sunday School class that may not be as far down the spiritual road as you are?

I remember, one time, I misjudged someone.  God called me on it.
There was a young family that came to our church, and if you saw them any other day of the week, you'd never know they went to church.  They cursed, they smoked, they drank, they yelled too much, she wore her pants too tight, and he wasn't a very loving husband.  I judged them.  I made my assumptions.  God wasn't happy with me.  It was HIM who sent them to our church.
Then, He gave me a glimpse into their world.  I don't remember whether they had a baby, or whether someone had surgery, but I was to take a meal to their house.  I love doing that sort of thing, so I had no trouble with it.
I packed up my kids and we took a meal. 
They didn't grow up in the church, and they didn't know people in church took meals and prayed for each other.  She cried.  She had had a difficult life.  Their marriage was struggling, and he didn't want to go to church, but she wanted more for her family.  She was grateful....a simple meal, a prayer, a listening ear.  She came back to church again.....later, she and her husband gave their hearts to Jesus.  Slowly, ever so slowly, Jesus transformed them, from the inside out.  They didn't try to put on airs to impress, they just wanted to be like Jesus. 
My heart was forever changed. 

I always wanted to be a missionary.  Our little church had a missions week every year and the church supported missionaries were flown in, and families in the church hosted them for missions week.  Our family always "got one"!!!  My two closest friends and I would encourage our parents to hurry up and get our names in so that all the missionaries wouldn't be taken by someone else!  Our parents taught us to look outside of ourselves.  I remember looking at all of the missionary's "slides"....that's how we looked at pictures back then.  I dreamt of when I could be a missionary and go to a far away land.
I thought MISSIONS was ONLY in other countries.
I was wrong!

I AM a missionary right now.....every day.  To the co-workers or employees at work who just rub "me" the wrong way, and who don't know Jesus.  To the neighbors on my street....yes, even the ones that make life miserable when their dog barks all night or poops on my grass and they don't clean it up. 

I am a missionary when I go to church each week.

In a church as large as mine, I'm certain that there are more than just a few who come in each week, that don't know Jesus, and they are desperately seeking Him.
I'm a missionary to anyone God lays on my heart, puts in my path, or sits next to me in Sunday School or church.

I challenge you to do an "attitude check".  Why do you go to church?  Why does Jesus want you to go to church?  Do you show partiality?  Are you a little bit to quick to make assumptions or a judgment? 

Will you love, and serve, and smile, and consciously strive to be Jesus "with skin on" wherever you go, but ESPECIALLY at church?

It's a new day......His mercies are new EVERY morning!  Great is His faithfulness!
Go.....serve......love......give.....!

Pam

Giving 110%

We attended "Bedside Baptist" this morning, in Beaufort, SC.
Surfing the channels, we found Hour of Power. 
Haven't watched that show in years.  I believe this pastor's grandfather was the minister at that time!
This young pastor was spot on!

Have you ever heard that song, "While I'm Waiting"?
Here are the lyrics:

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship

Sung by John Waller


The Pastor this morning, brought up the Scripture:
Colossians 3:23

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man..."

God wants us to give 110% to everything we do. 
You mean even when we don't have our "dream job" yet?  YUP!!
You mean even if we don't LIKE our boss, or the work, or the co-workers?  YUP!
You mean, even if we haven't had a raise in 3 years, and we aren't appreciated?  YUP!

2 Thessalonians 3:10

For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

How many young kids do you know that live at home even into their 20's rent free!?
How many young people do you know that think their first home purchase needs to be their DREAM home, and they refuse to "settle" on anything less?

Whatever happened to working hard and earning the privileges and blessings that come from giving your work your all?  And....learning to wait!  And learning that not everything comes easy.  And...sometimes it doesn't come at all.

Well.....what if you DO give your work your all, and you feel like you're going BACKWARDS, instead of forward?  What if you give MORE than 110%, and have been for years and years?  What if you just haven't seen the fruit of your labor, and you are weary, and overwhelmed and wondering if you have "enough" in you for tomorrow?????

Here's the real test!  Here's the real challenge....here's where you realize that life is more than just working for a reward!

My favorite inspirational speaker, Jim Rohn, says that It's not about the challenges, it's about who you BECOME through the challenges.
It's about BECOMING!  It's about serving, and loving, and giving, and hoping, and being a blessing, and it's about working hard!
We do our work for the Lord! 
Can we sweep floors for the Lord?  Of course!
Can we do yard work, care for children, cook for the family, clean toilets, and work a job we don't feel we should be at FOR THE LORD?   A RESOUNDING YES!!

You know what else?
When you feel like you are going backwards instead of forward.....WHAT IF that going backward is you being pulled back in a metaphorical sling shot?!  What if all of this pulling back is preparing you for when God launches you forward??!!!  Isn't that exciting?  Isn't that hopeful?  Isn't that worth getting all of the preparedness you can get, while you are waiting?!!

Let's think about that!  It puts a smile of hope on my face!
Have a great week!
Pam

A little R&R!

It's been a long few months.....about 72 months or more, in truth! 
This earthly life has its challenges, doesn't it?
It's so easy to be caught up in the daily pressures, struggles, and craziness of life that we can let it affect our relationships....with humans, and with God.
We know the truth.
",,,In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world" ---John 16:33

When times are easier, and we can relax, it's easy to love God, be thankful, and see the beauty in the little things.   When times are tough, and the troubles are so overwhelming that we can't see the sunlight for all the trees, --- when we feel the weight of the world is on our shoulders, and we can't sense God's presence in it all............we blame God, and allow our faith to be shaken!

I've read the old testament dozens of times, and each time I think those Israelites are so crazy to know all God did for them in rescuing them from the Egyptians, and then complain when he provides food for them each morning for 40 years without them having to plant and cultivate it.  He parted the Red Sea, and yet they worried he wouldn't provide water to drink!
They were quick to build the golden calf, when Moses was up being mentored by God himself.....

Truth is, we are Israelites!  God gave us Jesus, and he clothes, and feeds the birds of the air, and provides rain for the grass, and the sun to shine each day, and yet we allow our faith to be shaken with the blowing of the wind. 

We neglect opportunities to get away to a quiet place and allow God to refresh us, to just listen to him in the stillness of the morning. 

So, in the midst of this stormy season of life, my husband and I are going to get away this weekend.  We have no huge agenda, but to enjoy a walk along the beach, a little hand holding, a lot of praying, a cup of coffee while watching the sun rise, or a cup of hot tea as the sun sets...........whatever the weekend holds, my prayer is for God to show us His Glory, and make His presence known. 

If this is where you are in life...........hold on tight to Jesus.  Don't let the storms break you, allow them to draw you to your Savior.  Climb up in his "lap" and allow Him to "wrap his arms around you" and rest, even for a moment, in the knowledge that he will NEVER leave you or forsake you.  Breathe deeply. 
Close your eyes. 
He NEVER sleeps......

Love,
Pam

"A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet"

This quote:  "A Closed Mouth Gathers No Feet"
 was on a sign I saw in someone's entryway one time a long while ago..., and it made such an impression on me!
Proverbs 10:19 says, "When words are many sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise". 
Now THAT is a convicting verse!

My tongue has gotten me in trouble more times than I can count.  I wish it were not so, and that being a Christian would be the key to keeping my tongue in check, but it takes more than just being a Christian.
It takes daily....sometimes hourly....sometimes moment by moment giving my mind, and my tongue to the Lord.

My mom's close friend recently went "home" to be with Jesus.  What a deep loss will be felt in the lives of all who knew her.  People's comments about her were that she kept her voice under control, never said an unkind word, and knew when to talk and when not to......what a legacy!  What a tribute to all Christ has done in her, and to her character!

Unfortunately, my husband can't say that about me....and I am sad.  I could dwell on that and beat myself up about it, but..........that won't change anything.  The blessing in it all is that Christ paid for my sin.  I was bought with a price.  He forgave me, and keeps forgiving me.  His mercies are new every morning....and I can be changed!

In Romans 7:14-25 Paul (the Apostle) talks about battling his sin nature.  He wants to obey, but has trouble carrying it out.  He is grateful that Christ delivers him from sin.  I am grateful for that too.
I encourage you to read that passage when you have time.

My tongue has caused me to lose a friendship.........no, it wasn't "all" my fault, but most likely, I acted before asking God to give me HIS words.  My heart aches that this happened.  I have spoken before thinking on so many occasions.  Why does it take so long to master the tongue?

God's Word also says in Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he". 
Why am I bringing this verse into play when I am talking about the tongue?  Well............
because Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:35 remind us that "...out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks".

I won't speak it if I don't "think" it.  Now, I can't always control what thoughts come into my mind, but I can control whether I dwell on them, and let them become words that I speak.

I'm a planner.  I like to know what's coming, and I like to be prepared.  I am also a detailed person, and although this is a blessing, it can also be a weakness.  I can become overwhelmed with the details.  I can think about the "what if's" so much that I speak detrimental thoughts.  This can be a discouragement to my husband, my friends, and my family.

I do NOT want this. 
I want the Words of my mouth and the Meditations of my heart to be pleasing to the Lord! (see Psalm 19:14)

You know what else?  Satan (the enemy) does not know your thoughts!  He's NOT all knowing like God.  He does have his "assistants" who watch the Christians.....waiting for ways to trip them up and keep them from being effective for Christ.  He LISTENS to what you SAY.  This is another reason to be careful what you say!

James 1:19-20 tells us to be slow to speak....and a whole lot more....

Oh, how I want to be a "helpmeet" to my husband, an encourager to him, and have the faith and trust in my Savior I want to have. 
Oh, how I want to be the mom that my kids can look up to, I want them to see Christ in me, and I want them to hear Christ in the words I speak.  (They see me take it all to Him......and see me get up when I fail....sometimes slowly!)
Oh, how I want to be the friend that is worthy of their friendship....someone they can count on to keep my tongue in check.
I'm a work in progress. 
I must take every thought captive, and keep hiding God's Word in my heart so that it will keep me from sinning!

Have you heard that new song:  "Let them see You in me?...." 
Here is the web address:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mgho0_JRetk

Let your words be few.....
Think: 
Is it necessary....
Is it true?
Is it kind?

Another week is upon us.....I wish you victory over your tongue this week!
Love,
Pam

Poem: "Myself"

As a teenager, I really loved poetry!  (still do!) My dad's mom was also a collector of poetry, and when she died, I "inherited" many copies of her favorite poems written on the backs of store grocery ads, on envelopes, and any piece of paper she could find.  She never wasted anything!  She was such a precious grandmother to me, and she always had time for her grandchildren.  I want to be like that!  I still have that notebook with all of the poems.  This poem is one of my favorites...and I honestly assumed that she had written it herself!  :-) The last half of the poem is different than what she had written on paper....so maybe she did do some of the "writing" after all!  She must have personalized it for a woman, since it was written by a man. 
Let the words of this poem give you resolve to stay on the narrow road, to live a life of integrity, and to never sell yourself short.  God has big plans for you!
Enjoy! 

 

MYSELF

Written by Edgar A. Guest

I have to live with myself and so

I want to be fit for myself to know.

I want to be able as days go by,

Always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don’t want to stand with the setting sun

And hate myself for the things I have done.

I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf

A lot of secrets about myself

And fool myself as I come and go

Into thinking no one else will ever know

The kind of person I really am,

I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect

I want to deserve [people’s] respect;

But here in the struggle for fame and wealth

I want to be able to like myself.

I don’t want to look at myself and know

I am bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me;

I see what others may never see;

I know what others may never know,

I never can fool myself and so,

Whatever happens I want to be

Self-respecting and conscience free.

.
Edgar Guest (1881 – 1959) worked for more than sixty years at the Detroit Free Press, publishing his first poem at the age of seventeen, then going on to become a reporter and columnist whose work was featured in hundreds of newspapers around the country. Guest is said to have written some 11,000 poems during his lifetime, most of it sentimental, short, upbeat verse. Critics may have occassionally derided his work, but America adored him. He was known as the “People’s Poet,” served as Michigan’s poet laureate, hosted a long-running radio show and TV show, and published more than twenty books.  (Taken from Professions for PEACE blog---found via Google)

"Me"-time

I must admit....there is something that puts up a "red flag" when I hear talk about "me time".
 

The oxford dictionary definition of "me" time:

"...seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy"

Growing up, I had very self-sacrificing, generous parents, who were always giving of their time, talent and resources.  There wasn't much time for rest, and if they weren't sitting down..... they taught me that I shouldn't be sitting down!  It was constantly drilled into me not to be selfish. 
In fact, to this day, I'd be mortified if someone thought that I acted selfishly!
I can't tell you how many times I have copied, studied and memorized Philippians 2:3-4!!

Philippians 2:2-4 (NIV)

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 

Therefore, seeing the words "me" time, causes a little cringe.

 

Finding time to be refreshed, or have your spiritual cup "filled" is a good thing.
Getting together with a friend for coffee, having a manicure, attending a weekend women's retreat, or a ladies weekly Bible study......those are GOOD things!  They make us better mothers, wives and friends. 
We're nicer, and can "manage" life better!

 

When my kids were little, oh how I wished to have a moment to go to the bathroom by myself!  I also remember that my "cup" was always running on fumes.  I needed my spiritual "cup" to be filled!
My husband worked nights for 9 years when the kids were little.  I was able to be in a women's Bible Study at church, and I had a devotional time with the kids at supper every weekday.  It was a joy to instill God's truths in my kids, and have their eager hearts developing a faith of their own.  It also added to the refreshing that God wanted to do in me!
Honestly, I've always been a MORNING person!  By the time 8pm rolled around, I was out of steam as a mom of three little ones 23 months apart. Thankfully, I taught my kids: "once in bed, stay in bed".  I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with bedtime shenanigans.  We had our routine, and they counted on it, and so did I.
Was my time my own, once they got in bed???  Of course not!  I was a young mother!  All of the things I couldn't get done during the day, needed to be done in the evening. 
But you know what?  I tried to take at least 15 minutes each evening to crawl in bed with my Bible and seek refreshment!  I may also have taken a shower, read a chapter in a favorite historical Christian fiction novel, listened to a favorite worship 'tape', or called a friend for some adult conversation. 

Could that be considered "me" time?  I suppose so! 
I don't think that everyone has the SAME definition of "me" time that I just described.

My observation is more of an "I deserve time for ME!" or "What about ME!"
This can be a disastrous dynamic within a marriage. He gets his "me" time, and she needs to make sure she gets the same amount of "me" time...., and pretty soon, couples are battling each other for time to do what "they" want!  Keeping score is never a good game plan in marriage.

Ron Hutchcraft Ministries calls it: ( I found them on google)
"The "me" monster. That's the tendency to think about myself most of the time....
There's nothing like hurt and pain and pressure to turn us into self-focused people. Too often, life is about my needs, my issues, my problems, my agenda, my feelings, my load. But a life of self-focus or self-pity or self-centeredness is just not how we were wired to live, especially if we belong to Jesus Christ."

Truth be told---- what I don't like is the phrase: "me" time.  I don't like the focus to be so "me" "me" "me".
I ask you:  What are we here for?  What is our purpose?  How do we find balance, and take time to be refreshed and rejuvenated? 

Selfish demands for "me" implies thinking we "deserve", and we are "entitled" to what we want.
We foster this attitude in our children when we buy them something every time we go somewhere.  Or when they think they need the newest toy, or a weekly manicure, or multiple expensive gifts for every occasion!

I found this song chorus sung by Heather Headley:
I need some me time
Not some you and some I
Just some me time, oh-
I need some she time
Not some him and some her
Just some free time, oh-
I wanna run with my girls
Hit the club, hit the mall
Get my nails and hair done
Spend a day at the spa
Boy you ain't gotta worry
There ain't nothin' goin' on
I need some me time
That's all, and that's all
 I just keep thinking about the first sentence in the book:  The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
"It's not about you".   
That first chapter goes on to say:
"The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams or ambitions...You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. ...We ask self-centered questions like What do I want to be?  What should I do with my life?  What are my goals, my ambitions, my dreams for my future?  ...Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purpose." 


---take time for refreshing, take time to find your purpose, and let God fill your spiritual "cup" full to overflowing!  Take time to pray for and with your husband or close friend if you aren't married. Share your struggles, find ways to give each other moments of rest.  If your attitude or definitions need to be adjusted, make that change, and remember, God's mercies are new EVERY morning!

Love,
Pam

Does God want us to be HAPPY?

I keep hearing, "I just want my kids to be happy", or "I just want to be happy", or "I just want you to be happy"....."God wants us to be happy".

I'm pretty sure that "happiness" is NOT the goal for the Christian.  There are plenty of verses in the Bible that use the word "happy".  I don't think there is anything wrong with being happy. 

Trouble begins when we think we have the "right" to be happy....and that happiness is what we seek.  What about the wife or husband that just doesn't feel happy in the marriage?  Never have I heard wedding vows include "as long as we are happy"!

We have to face the fact that life isn't supposed to be easy.  We blew it in the Garden of Eden, and now we toil... we work, and relationships are not easy, they take work.  This points us to our need for a Savior....and a GREAT one we have!  We won't always be happy.

God wants us to have an abundant life!  Check out the following verses:

Psalm 31:19

How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you.

Proverbs 28:19

Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.

Psalm 145:7

They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

 

It's so easy to forget that this earth is not our final home.  There is a heavenly home for those who choose Jesus as Savior.  We get bogged down in the daily struggles of life, and forget that God has a purpose in our being here.  We can enjoy the journey, and we want His Joy to be present in our countenance, but we want our lives to point others to Him.  To allow His Glory to shine through our weaknesses.

 

What about JOY? 

 

Author and Pastor,  Rick Warren says:

"Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.
You’ll find nothing in that definition about happy feelings, because, as we all know, happiness is fleeting and temporary."
 

 We definitely want to live a life filled with Joy!  The Psalms are FULL of verses that tell us to "shout for joy".  Joy is more than a feeling.  It doesn't mean feeling good all of the time.  Joy includes God's peace.  Joy is knowing that nothing can separate us from God's love.  Joy can be experienced even in the midst of extreme trial. (see Romans 8:35-39).  And of course, we know that weeping may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning! (from Psalm 30:5)

 

And then there is : "fulfilled" and "satisfied".  The Old Testament uses the word "satisfied" in connection with eating.  We eat and are satisfied.  We sometimes equate satisfied and happy.  Happy can have the descriptive words: content, delighted, pleased or glad over something, pleasure, or joy.

 

Let's go back to the original question asked:  Does God want us to be HAPPY? 

My answer is:  He wants us to live "holy", set-apart lives that bring Glory to His name!  He wants us to live abundant lives, avoiding sin, and seeking Him.  He wants us to love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength....and our neighbor as ourselves.  He wants us to grow in faith, and knowledge, and point others to the truth.  If we are Happy in that....then that is what he wants!

 

If to be happy, we think we need to buy things we can't afford, go back on our promises---especially in marriage, quit when the going gets a little rough....because we aren't happy, then I don't think God wants us to choose happiness as the goal here. 

We don't want our kids to be HAPPY, we want them to know the JOY of hard work accomplished, the struggle worked through, and a life lived for God.  It won't be easy.  They won't always feel happy.

 

Jesus said that in this world we will have trouble.... (John 16:33)

buy he does leave his peace with us!

 

There is so much more to be said on this subject. 

When we live our life in the center of God's will, I think we will be happy.  No matter what the circumstances. 

 

"Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well." Matthew 6:33

 

I welcome your comments! 

Be blessed!

Pam