"Me"-time

I must admit....there is something that puts up a "red flag" when I hear talk about "me time".
 

The oxford dictionary definition of "me" time:

"...seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy"

Growing up, I had very self-sacrificing, generous parents, who were always giving of their time, talent and resources.  There wasn't much time for rest, and if they weren't sitting down..... they taught me that I shouldn't be sitting down!  It was constantly drilled into me not to be selfish. 
In fact, to this day, I'd be mortified if someone thought that I acted selfishly!
I can't tell you how many times I have copied, studied and memorized Philippians 2:3-4!!

Philippians 2:2-4 (NIV)

2 Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

 

Therefore, seeing the words "me" time, causes a little cringe.

 

Finding time to be refreshed, or have your spiritual cup "filled" is a good thing.
Getting together with a friend for coffee, having a manicure, attending a weekend women's retreat, or a ladies weekly Bible study......those are GOOD things!  They make us better mothers, wives and friends. 
We're nicer, and can "manage" life better!

 

When my kids were little, oh how I wished to have a moment to go to the bathroom by myself!  I also remember that my "cup" was always running on fumes.  I needed my spiritual "cup" to be filled!
My husband worked nights for 9 years when the kids were little.  I was able to be in a women's Bible Study at church, and I had a devotional time with the kids at supper every weekday.  It was a joy to instill God's truths in my kids, and have their eager hearts developing a faith of their own.  It also added to the refreshing that God wanted to do in me!
Honestly, I've always been a MORNING person!  By the time 8pm rolled around, I was out of steam as a mom of three little ones 23 months apart. Thankfully, I taught my kids: "once in bed, stay in bed".  I didn't have the emotional energy to deal with bedtime shenanigans.  We had our routine, and they counted on it, and so did I.
Was my time my own, once they got in bed???  Of course not!  I was a young mother!  All of the things I couldn't get done during the day, needed to be done in the evening. 
But you know what?  I tried to take at least 15 minutes each evening to crawl in bed with my Bible and seek refreshment!  I may also have taken a shower, read a chapter in a favorite historical Christian fiction novel, listened to a favorite worship 'tape', or called a friend for some adult conversation. 

Could that be considered "me" time?  I suppose so! 
I don't think that everyone has the SAME definition of "me" time that I just described.

My observation is more of an "I deserve time for ME!" or "What about ME!"
This can be a disastrous dynamic within a marriage. He gets his "me" time, and she needs to make sure she gets the same amount of "me" time...., and pretty soon, couples are battling each other for time to do what "they" want!  Keeping score is never a good game plan in marriage.

Ron Hutchcraft Ministries calls it: ( I found them on google)
"The "me" monster. That's the tendency to think about myself most of the time....
There's nothing like hurt and pain and pressure to turn us into self-focused people. Too often, life is about my needs, my issues, my problems, my agenda, my feelings, my load. But a life of self-focus or self-pity or self-centeredness is just not how we were wired to live, especially if we belong to Jesus Christ."

Truth be told---- what I don't like is the phrase: "me" time.  I don't like the focus to be so "me" "me" "me".
I ask you:  What are we here for?  What is our purpose?  How do we find balance, and take time to be refreshed and rejuvenated? 

Selfish demands for "me" implies thinking we "deserve", and we are "entitled" to what we want.
We foster this attitude in our children when we buy them something every time we go somewhere.  Or when they think they need the newest toy, or a weekly manicure, or multiple expensive gifts for every occasion!

I found this song chorus sung by Heather Headley:
I need some me time
Not some you and some I
Just some me time, oh-
I need some she time
Not some him and some her
Just some free time, oh-
I wanna run with my girls
Hit the club, hit the mall
Get my nails and hair done
Spend a day at the spa
Boy you ain't gotta worry
There ain't nothin' goin' on
I need some me time
That's all, and that's all
 I just keep thinking about the first sentence in the book:  The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren
"It's not about you".   
That first chapter goes on to say:
"The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.  It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams or ambitions...You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. ...We ask self-centered questions like What do I want to be?  What should I do with my life?  What are my goals, my ambitions, my dreams for my future?  ...Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purpose." 


---take time for refreshing, take time to find your purpose, and let God fill your spiritual "cup" full to overflowing!  Take time to pray for and with your husband or close friend if you aren't married. Share your struggles, find ways to give each other moments of rest.  If your attitude or definitions need to be adjusted, make that change, and remember, God's mercies are new EVERY morning!

Love,
Pam